Black And Green

Fifteen

E m i l y

Hermione and I were sitting on the stadium stands doing some homework waiting for Harry to finish his quidditch practice. When we saw the team splitting up we realized they had completed.

"So, same time tomorrow?" Hermione asked him and he nodded his head negative.

"No, our deal with the Slytherin was until the end of the week. Next practice is on Tuesday" he explained while we were packing our things.

I felt Harry staring on me and when I looked him I was truly right. I automatically looked away and said uncomfortable, "Uhm, I will catch up with tou guys later. I will go to the lake". I started walking away quickly and thankfully Hermione didn't say anything about it.

As I sat and my feet were floating I took a deep breath and released it slowly, feeling my inside calming down a bit. I rolled my sleeves up and took a look on my left wrist where my wound began to heal. I rubbed it slowly and felt my eyes ready to start tearing up.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I am sick. I close up and I don't let people inside, I hurt everyone around me. I am such a disappointment of myself. I wish I could find a way to end all of these, a way to save myself and the others around me. I looked at the frozen lake in front me, it was covered in ice. I noticed that there was a big hole which was breaking the ice, enough to fit me in. I stood up suddenly and I felt my legs shaking. I couldn't believe I was making these thoughts. Will I really do it?

I mean, that's the only way right?

I pushed my hair back nervous and never stopped looking at the hole. I took a deep breath and I made a step forward and I was feeling ready. I was ready to risk everything that I didn't have and will never. I will never be happy, or okay. I will never feel loved, accepted or good enough.

I am ready.

"It's now or never" I blinked one last time and I was ready to lean forward but a voice stopped me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I knew whose voice it was. I wiped away my tears quickly and fixed my ponytail shaking. I turned around and saw him.

"What do you want?" I asked Malfoy and looked down. I was probably a mess and I didn't want to let him see me like that, like he won.

"Nothing. I thought you were going to fall for a second" he said and I looked him straight into his eyes.

"Holy shit, you were going to fall!" he realized and I faked being surprised.

"Uhm no? What the hell are you talking about?" I said with confidence but he started laughing.

"Jesus why did I interrupted you? I should had let you do your job" he said smiling and I rolled my eyes.

"Firstly, I wasn't going to fall", I said angry taking a few steps fowards, "And secondly, how can you be such an asshole?", I pointed my finger to his chest.

His face got serious and he clenched his jaw. Without realizing it he took my finger and twisted me around, placing my back on his chest. I was feeling my body in pain for the way he was holding me.

"You can't talk to me like that. Do you understand?" he hissed on my ear and when I stay silent he pushed my away making me fall to the ground. I took out my wand quickly, but he was faster.

"Expelliarmus" he spat and my wand flew away.

"Not today Black" he made some steps forward with his wand pointing to me.

"Accio!" I said and my wand was coming back to me and I catched it rolling over the ground so his spells wouldn't hit me.

I stood up and he started throwing random spells at me and I was blocking them with my wand. After a couple more I was really exhausted that I didn't see that another one was coming letting it hit me and threw me away.

"Crap" I was breathing heavily when my back fell on a big rock and I tried to manage the pain.

I stood up very slowly trying to catch my breath and he was still there looking at me. I was walking towards him and tended my hand to shake his. He was looking at me confused and when he gave me his hand I suddenly pulled it behind his back and threw us over the ground with me sitting on his back.

"You are so stupid, do you know that?" I said laughing on his back and with a blink of an eye I was the one on the ground and Malfoy on me.

"And you are so naive" He pressed my hands on my back. My whole body was in pain but I wouldn't let it show. When I felt his hands relaxing against mine I  stood up immediately.

"Go on. Go cry" he walked closer to me, his eyes not leaving mine.

"Go cry about how miserable and depressed you are. How much everyone hates you and how you ruin everything. How your own family hates you and go sit on another lake trying to find another way to kill your fucking self- because that's what you deserve at the end of the day" he words were like a knife, slowly twisting itself as he kept going.

"Fuck you" I said and spat on his shirt before started walking away. Then I felt a sharp pain on my head and I realized he was pulling me back from my hair.  As I started screaming from pain my legs got confused with his and as we were twisting to fall down, I wish I was at my bed right now alone. I wish I never got out of bed this morning. Before we fell I heard a loud crack and everything started spinning around. When I opened my eyes I realized I wasn't at the lake anymore but I was in... my bedroom?

"What the hell did you too?!" I heard his voice and he was looking at me angry.

"I don't know how a loser like you can apparate but you need to take me back right now" he said bitterly, looking around the room disgusted.

"Wait, did I just apparate?" I wondered more myself than him. That was impossible, I haven't even tried to do it before, not even once.

"Don't play dumb. Just take us back!" he hissed loosing his temper.

"But I don't know how!" I shook my hands and he rolled his eyes.

"Jesus uh! I fucking hate you!" he shouted and we heard noise from outside.

"Emily? Who is there?" Hermione was knocking at the door.

"Great! The mudblood is joining too!" he whispered sarcastically and without paying attention to him I opened my trunk taking outside my invisible cloak.

"What? Where did you get this?" he asked and I told him to shut up before covering him with it.

"Emily?" Hermione opened the door suddenly and came inside.

"Uhm yes?" I asked playing it cool.

"What's going on?" I continued the game.

"Nothing, I thought I heard voices. Forgive me" she smiled tired and I nodded. Then I saw a string of her hair flying in the room and my eyes were wide opened.

"What's wrong?" she asked and I laughed awkward.

"Nothing. All good" I confronted her and she was looking at me confused. She said that she had to finished her studying and she left.

Thats when I stood up immediately looking around for Malfoy.

"Come on, give it to me. She left" I said but I got no response. I started freaking out so I was running in the room ready to bump on him, but I realized it was a waste of time.

He left with my cloak!