Stuck With You ✔

Chapter 16: Justice & Misunderstandings

Chapter 16: Justice & Misunderstandings

Aunt Melinda is not the best aunt. She has done many things that we were never proud of. She was always carefree and never had kids. Her husband divorced her years ago because of her drug addiction. She was such a bad influence, but my mother always loved her no matter what. When their parents looked down at her as a disappointment, my mother cared for her sister when no one did. Others believed she was good at nothing and worthless, but they were wrong.

"Rest in love, Auntie," I whispered, putting a hand over her coffin. "We will miss you so much."

They start lowering the coffin and I stand there with a heavy heart. Today, we say good bye to one of our loved ones. I'm sad that she is gone and hurt for the ones who weren't able to join us in saying good bye. The people who were here with us were some of her old friends who lived in the city. They were able to attend, but others just had to watch from afar in the zoom meetings.

Mom was crying so much the last time we were on a call.

Correction...it's not a good bye, but a see you soon.

I will grieve for her, but I still can't accept that she is really gone. The heaviness was in my limbs as much as my mind. Aunt Melinda should be acting bossy and annoying everyone or just be near me. I miss all of that.

"Hey," Archer said, pulling me into a hug. I hug him back, letting the tears flow.

No matter how much I try to be strong, the tears just keep flowing. I'll just have to look up at the sky and believe she is safe up there, comfortable, and happy. To look down would be to imagine her cold in a box.

"Everything will be okay. She is in a better place now," Archer rubs my back.

When the words would not come, my tears did. The mourning was supposed to be something dignified or stoic in my family, but I cried like a child with choking sobs and I was not ashamed. I am in pain and that is normal.

It is okay to not be okay.

***

I would be sitting, staring off into the distance. The numbness of my loss had passed, but the pain would hit me out of nowhere, doubling me over, racking my body with sobs, making my eyes flood tears.

I always find myself asking, "Where are you? Where have you gone?"

I don't know why I ask these in my head when clearly I know that she is already gone. The pain is still there. Since her burial, I had been sitting outside on my room balcony. I cried until there was nothing left inside but a raw emptiness that eats away at my insides like a hungry rat. My whole body hangs limp and just moving a limb was a slow, painful effort.

A cup of tea was placed in front of me and I look up at the person who placed it there.

It was Archer.

Unlike me, he looked fresh and okay. He had a small smile on his face as he sits beside me. I couldn't force myself to smile back at him so I just stare off again. The sun was still shining in the sky, but not for me. The birds were singing their song, but not for me. In that moment, there was no beauty left in the world.

I wanted to see everything again, but I just ended up being traumatized. I hate that I had to see my aunt get shot instead of me. It should have been me who died, not her. Somehow, I just keep escaping death.

"It should have been me," I sigh quietly.

Archer glances at me, "Don't say that, Arrow."

"She is gone because of me," I let out, looking at him. "I should have died. Not her."