Homeward Bound Part One: An Unexpected Journey

Chapter Thirty-Eight

The next two weeks were suspiciously peaceful.

They managed to leave Mirkwood with no further attacks by orcs or spiders and without anyone setting the forest on fire.

Once they were out it was fairly flat land alongside a rushing river. They all had packs stuffed with supplies Thranduil had given them that, despite Dwalin's grumblings, did not, in fact, appear to be poisoned.

Bilba was able to start training again though, to her annoyance, she soon discovered the three weeks of inactivity had done her no favors. Where she'd once flown through different sessions with ease she now barely made it halfway before she was bent over with her hands on her knees, panting and fighting off the beginnings of a roaring headache. Not to mention she woke up every morning to her entire body feeling sore and aching, to the point where she had areas sore that she didn't know could GET sore.

"Don't worry about it," Fili said, "it'll come back to you. You just got out of practice, it happens to the best of us."

She didn't get better, however, and, what's more, she couldn't seem to rid herself of the tight feeling in her waistband or the small pouch of fat on her stomach no matter how hard she pushed herself in training.

She tried to limit herself when it came to food but, since Mirkwood, she'd found herself nearly salivating when dinner preparations began, particularly when those preparations involved bacon. Her love for bacon grew so intense, in fact, that she nearly drew her sword on Nori when he threatened to take a slice off her plate one evening.

The Company learned after that to not come between Bilba and her bacon. Not even her continued nausea which, though almost entirely controlled by Oin's herbs, still continued to plague her from time to time could stop her love for the salted meat.

At the very least she'd stopped actually throwing up so she didn't have to experience the taste and feel of bacon coming back UP.

Still, the nausea that refused to subside entirely, the fact she couldn't get herself back into shape and the fact she couldn't seem to stop eating no matter how much she WANTED to did not leave her in the greatest of moods.

As such, her reaction to Lake-town was perfectly understandable.

Particularly when she saw the bridge leading to it.

"What is WRONG with all of you?" She shouted, turning on Thorin who, unfortunately for him, happened to be closest to her. "All the races of Middle Earth are CLEARLY insane! Not ONE of you believes in RAILINGS!"

Thorin's eyes widened and he actually took a step back.

Nori took the opportunity to step forward and hug her. Bilba immediately sank against him, burying her face against his chest. The last thing she wanted to do was look at that Valar forsaken bridge.

"Did you see the bridge over the Brandywine back in the Shire?" she asked, her voice muffled. "It had RAILINGS. In fact, it had SIDES. Nice, beautiful, solid wood sides, the tops are even decorated."

"That's because Hobbits are clearly the most reasonable and rational of all races," Nori said, sounding amused.

Bilba pulled back and glared at him, her eyes narrowing. "Are you placating me?"

Nori's eyes widened. "Of course not."

"Good," Bilba took a breath and walked over to Thorin. Reaching up she grabbed the edges of his Coat of Majesty and said, "I'm. Not. Going."

"Bilba," Thorin said patiently, "it's the only way to get to Lake-town, unless we find a boat, the likelihood of which is slim on this side of the lake."