Homeward Bound Part One: An Unexpected Journey

Chapter Thirty-Three

"He isn't ANYWHERE! Why can't I find him?"

Bilba sank to her knees on the last word, her voice catching in a sob. She reached out to grab the bars of the cell she knelt in front of, her fingers curling around them so hard it was a wonder they didn't break.

Three weeks.

Three WEEKS since the Company had been dragged in, stripped of their armor and weapons and shoved into individual cells.

Balin had taken it as a good sign, stating the fact no one had come to question them meant Thorin must be there, somewhere, being questioned in their stead.

So Bilba had searched.

She had looked in other cells and rooms, walked down long hallways, through the throne room and investigated the kitchens. She'd been forced to wear her ring to avoid detection but, even with the washed out grays, there was no disguising the splendor of the place. At any other time she'd have been in awe.

Now all she could see was Thorin, lost and bleeding in the forest, wrapped in a cocoon in some obscure part of the tree where she hadn't looked. All she could see was him in pain, SUFFERING, begging for someone to come find him.

All she could feel was the same pain she had felt lying in the cave with her dead parents, praying someone, anyone would find her.

All she could remember was the despair when no one had.

And overlying all that was the guilt, pushed aside only to now come surging back to life in light of another failure.

Every time she closed her eyes in some obscure corner or nook she saw Bungo, her mother, her father, Atherton and everyone else she'd ever failed to save. She'd woken up screaming so many times it was a wonder the elves had not found her on that basis alone.

"I missed him," she sobbed now, her head bent so far down it nearly touched the floor even as she left her arms up, gripping the door of the cell. "He was in the tree, he must have been and I MISSED him."

"Bilba." Fili's voice was commanding, none of the laughter or glee he normally expressed.

Fingers slid through the bars from the inside, wrapping around her hands as best as possible.

"Bilba," Fili said again, "look at me. BILBA."

She raised her head. She'd taken off the ring at his insistence and knew by the look on his face she must look even worse than she felt.

Now he locked eyes with her, pressing as close to the door on his side as he could.

"He wasn't in the tree, Bilba."

"The one next to it--"

"NO." Fili looked at her until he was sure she was paying attention. "He wasn't with the spiders, Bilba. They never took him."

He had told her that before. Thorin hadn't heard, or listened, to her when she'd talked about climbing the trees. He'd gone with his original plan of splitting up and the last anyone had seen of him he'd been striding confidently into the trees. The others had been too dazed by the aura of the forest to stop him and the spiders had attacked only moments later.

Still, if there had been more spiders in the forest, if one had grabbed him and dragged him to another tree...

"Stop thinking like that," Fili ordered his voice sharp.

Bilba flinched. She struggled to gain control over herself, her breath hitching in her throat. Her hands on the bars shook and she leaned forward weakly, resting her head on the door.