Frozen Love (A Castle Fanfiction)

First and Last Day

So, it's been a while. I appologize. School's been heavy and I wanted to pump out chapters of another story as fast as possible. Thank God for snowdays, right? ;)
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"Feels weird, doesn't it?" Rick questioned as we walked.

My brow furrowed. "What?"

"Walking into the precinct as a married couple. It feels weird."

I rolled my eyes, passing into the elevator and waiting for Rick to press the button as I held Brayden on my side. "Nothing's changed, Castle. If nothing else, our lives have suddenly become more ordinary."

"Oh, Kate," he said, putting his hand around my waist, "Life could never be normal with you." Just before the doors opened, Rick laid a gentle kiss on my cheek and smiled into it. Once the doors were opened, he had parted enough to make it as though it didn't happen. We both stepped off and checked B in before boarding the elevator again. Once on, his hand then came down to my stomach, the other against my back as he paid another kiss into the opposing cheek. "Besides, given the circumstances, we might be in for even more change."

My eyes widened as I smiled up at him and shoved his hand off my stomach. "Would you just- shush. We don't even know that I am pregnant. It's been three days."

"We've been through this before, Kate," he smiled down at me, memories of my first pregnancy flooding back.

"Yes, well, you must admit those were... odd circumstances. Plus, when we plan things, things go wrong. Seems like the only things that work are the accidents in our lives," I told him, full heartedly believing that statement.

Before he could say a word back, the elevators opened again, and Ryan and Espo were waiting to jump on board. When they saw us, Ryan explained, "We caught a case."

"Perfect timing," Rick replied with a smile. The boys got on the elevator and gave us the address. After a two block walk, we were there. And disturbed. On the side walk lay a fellow cop, a single bullet wound carving a hole through his forehead. The exit wound indicated he had been shot from behind, gunshot residue suggesting it had been at point blank range. He wasn't homicide or anything particularly close to home, but while his limp body rested on the concrete sidewalk below, he was a reminder to all of us that this was a dangerous job. We were never safe.

When I got back to the precinct, though I wasn't really supposed to, I wandered down to the nursery and held Brayden for a good five or ten minutes before returning to my desk. I just needed to assure him that I was alright, and assure myself that I wasn't going to orphan the most important little man in my life. By the time I got up there, Rick had poured each of us a cup of coffee (mine being decaf) and had begun the skeleton of the murder board. As I approached him, he told me in a soft, run down voice, "I figured you wouldn't mind if I laid out some ground work."

"No," I agreed, "I don't mind."

Castle then nodded and went quiet for a moment. Then, with remorse in his tone, he questioned, "Now what? Do we... call the family? Let them know why he didn't come home last night?"

"Yeah," I said heavily, "Yeah, we've got to do what we've got to do." This time, no words followed his silent nod. As I watched him stare down his feet and stand so still, not knowing what to say or think, I began to worry more about him than the case. Knowing it was true for him with me, I told him, "Castle, maybe you should take a day. You could take Brayden home and just relax. This case isn't going to go very far on the first day. I mean, you know that. It almost never does."

He didn't resist. He didn't want to resist. He just wanted to leave, so when he did, I wasn't surprised. Before he left, however, he got a bit more possessive than usual. His hand once again came to rest on my stomach, this time I unopposed as he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and told me to be safe. I swore I would and he believed me, and then he took his leave.

When Ryan and I met with his wife and eldest daughter (only eight years old and sick with the flu), my day got instantaneously a million times worse. His wife cradled her daughter nearly the entire time as the young child sobbed and her mother struggled to keep it together even a little bit for her. Then, the most nauseating part was when she said, "Why? Why did he have to do this?! He didn't need to. I told him he didn't need to, but he swore he'd be alright. He swore everything would be fine. But- he didn't listen. Now what am I supposed to do? Raise our kids by myself? One kid was hard enough, but two- three? What am I supposed to do without him?" Blow by blow this woman ripped my heart out without knowing it.

Then, I got to the loft.

There, Rick was up, typing vigorously on his laptop while Brayden slumbered on his chest. When I walked through the doors, Castle put away the fictional world he was creating and gently placed our son in the bassinet beside him. I watched him intently as he nodded in one direction and pulled me off into the den, leaving our bedroom in the dust. The first thing he asked was, "How was work?"

"Draining," I replied. "How's B."

"Tired. We had an exciting day of reading at the library," Rick answered with a meager smile. I grinned a bit without a word for response, wishing I had been there. He then carried on, "Kate, I think-... I think I need to stop working at the precinct."

I was instantly confused. "What? Castle, what are you talking about? Where is this coming from?"

"You know where it's coming from," Rick told her gingerly. "This case. It's just- it's reminded me that we aren't... invincible. We're human. And- God forbid anything should happen in the field, Brayden should have one of us around. And- if we really are having another baby, I think maybe it's time I grow up a bit and realize sometimes playtime needs to be put aside and parenting needs to be my number one priority."

"Castle-..," I started, and then began understanding his words. I thought about saying that was never going to happen, but so did the now dead cop. Anything could go wrong at any minute in that line of work. If my shooting didn't prove that, what would. But- I still wanted him to keep working, not just because I would miss him, but because he was good at... whatever it was he did for the team, and he got bored so easily at home. Plus, he had a bad habit of doing stupid stuff when he was alone. He needed the busy work if nothing else. "Are you sure this is something you want to do?"

"It's something I have to do," he regretfully responded.

I sighed. "Do you want time to think it over?"

"If I think about it, I won't do it. I need to do this."

"Maybe just give it a few days. I just don't want you rushing into a decision like this. This is a big decision," I told him a bit more firmly.

He replied, "Kate, I need to do this."

"I get that," I answered, "But just give it a day or so. Once this case is over, if you still want to be done, we can tell Gates, alright?"

He sighed. "Alright."

"Okay, good. Now, do I get a hello kiss?" His eyes brightened a bit as he leaned down to do my bidding. "Maybe a... shower? I mean, it's been a long day. I would love to... unwind."

Again, his expression lightened as he got a little more intrigued. "Only if you use that cherry scented stuff that is so... enticing."

My smile grew ten fold. "Anything for my husband." His smile grew. Before I knew it, we were helping each other undress.