Frozen Love (A Castle Fanfiction)

In Her Absence

The next morning, I called in sick. I knew I needed to distance myself from the work the boys would have to continue. So, instead of going in like I would have, no, like I should have, I stayed at home and blew the day away with pointless topics. I stayed in bed until eight, watching Brayden as he laid out on our bed, reading to B, talking with Rick and just simply goofing off the way I never got to do. Rick and I then washed our son as we showered the remains of the night before off ourselves. Once we all smelled of the cherry body soap Rick had picked up instead of the tear free baby soap we bought for Brayden, the three of us got dressed and finished getting ready. By nine thirty, we were out the door with Alexis and Martha and walked to the nearest diner for brunch.

Instead of working the crusade I started, I allowed the boys to take on the quest and wasted the morning with Alexis, chatting with her about how excited she was to go to Columbia and graduate High School and get away from the drags of living under someone else's rules (teasing Rick only partially, being mostly curious). She recited anecdotes about her favorite memories and Rick interjected his own stories of mischief. He then went on about stories of when she was younger and Martha and Alexis fell in key as well. They must have shared at least twenty stories total and every one made me realize more and more how close these three really were. By the time breakfast was finished, I'd forgotten what Rick and I were even fighting about, but Ryan and Esposito hadn't forgotten the case.

Alexis had to be at her school by noon, so she split from us when we reached her friend's apartment building and dashed off to meet up with her ride to the school. At home, Martha brought me in on the graduation party plans and we finished off the minute details that hadn't yet been etched out on paper. "Can you believe that by the end of the night Alexis is going to be a high school graduate?" Rick asked as he came in from the upstairs.

"I sometimes find it hard to believe you're a high school graduate, babe," I quipped.

He didn't respond to the comment. "It seems like only yesterday I was picking her up from her first day if daycare."

"Daycare?" I questioned, "I thought you stayed home with her."

Quickly he explained, "I did. I just- when she was three and a half, mother hadn't moved in yet and Meredith had left and she started asking me questions that I didn't know how to answer, such as, 'Where do babies come from,' and, 'Why don't I have boobs like Barbie'. I didn't know what to say so for three days a week she was in Big Achievers' Daycare Center."

I smiled. "You didn't know how to answer the babies question?"

"I was twenty three! I didn't know what I was doing," he defended passionately.

"What would you tell her if she were three now?" Martha questioned.

He thought for a second and then said, "I'd tell her that babies come from a special hug that mommies and daddies give each other when they're old enough and love each other very much."

"What if she were to ask you how old was "old enough"?" Martha again questioned.

He answered, "I'd tell her when you can say the word trepidation and you know what it means, you're old enough." I rolled my eyes but said nothing. At that point, it was three thirty. Parents were asked to be at the school by six, but in order to get good seats, Rick felt the need to be there by five thirty at the absolute latest. After having been a smelly mess, Rick and I were forced to wash Brayden again (not that we minded all that much) and then redressed him in a clean onesy which Alexis had chosen for him when she and her father were at the store. The mint color on the long sleeved-full legged onesy held the words: I love my big sis. It was adorable.

By force, Rick wore a navy shirt with a black tie and a black jacket. He then watched as I changed into a knee length navy dress with sleeves to my elbow and a conservative neckline. Even though I wasn't one, I did my best to look like any other parent instead of a step-mom who was probably being invited more so out of kindness than out of a desire for me to be there. It wasn't long before I realized that I would be the semi "maternal figure" fill-in for Alexis at this. Meredith had already expressed to Rick that while she was planning on coming to Alexis's graduation party, the graduation itself "fell on an inconvenient day for her" and she couldn't make it.

Rick and I were ready by a quarter to five, but his mother stalled us another fifteen minutes. Still, we were at the school by five, at which point I missed a first call. By the time the doors opened, I'd missed six calls. By six-o-five, when the graduation procession began, I'd missed eleven calls. After Alexis's marvelous speech, seconds after it was finished, B began to fuss and writhe a bit. Before the diplomas were handed out, he began to cry and I was forced to step out with him. It was six-forty-five. Thirteen missed calls. Three messages.

Call one. 4:59 P.M. "Hey, Beckett, it's Ryan. We caught a lead we're pursuing. This is it. We found Maddox. If you want in, we'll wait. Just call me."

Call six. 5:47 P.M. "Beckett, it's Javi. Look, Ryan was hurt. He's at Sacred Heart Hospital. You and Castle need to get down here ASAP."

Call twelve. 6:37 P.M. "Kate, it's Lanie. Honey, I know you and Rick are at Alexis' graduation, but- Ryan's in really bad shape. We need you. Badly. Please, just- call me back as soon as you get this."

Just as I ended the call, only seconds after I hung up, a text message came in. Unknown number. No signature. I told you to stop pursuing this case. Consider this a warning. Stop looking for me.