Lovely (Complete)

6

AXEL'S POV

Of course, I felt bad for leaving him, he had just gone through the trauma of being in a car accident and I wasn't there to console him. But then again if I wasn't there for myself how could I be there for him. I tried my hardest to give him the space he needed after everything that happened but in the end, my heart rules over my mind. I sighed and decided to be selfish. I called him, I just needed to hear his voice again.

While Oliver was running a bath for me I called Lovely. He sounded confused but content. It put a smile on my face, although it was small it still counted for something. Oliver put me in the tub, bubbles and clear water surrounded me.

I looked at my bare legs that had cuts on them and my brushed torso. The stitches on my sides and legs felt cold against the warm water. I stated at my legs, my eyes going past my legs and zoning out into the gray bathtub. I don't know how long I stayed there, but it was long enough for the water to turn cold and Oliver to check in on me.

Groggily, I bathed myself and rinsed myself off. Oliver came in to get me out of the tub and change. He asked me if there was anything that I wanted to do that day.

"What is there to do?" I thought, running my hands over the sky blue sheets on my bed.

I was paralyzed, I couldn't do anything myself anymore. If there was even anything to do while being paralyzed. Oliver wanted me to go to a  therapist and get physical therapy. No matter how hard I tried to look at myself in the mirror to go I couldn't. I had almost completely given up.

The thought of myself leaving Oliver and Noah hurt too much. It hurt more than the break-up if anything could do that. Every day I thought to myself, thought about what happened in my life and about what happened to me and Noah. He was such a good kid, he really didn't deserve to be left like that. I wasn't the only one affected by the car crash. But here I am, acting like a baby and throwing a tantrum through it all.

Hell, what am I saying, Noah, didn't have anything drastic happen to him. I'm the one who lost feeling in the hips down. I'm the one who has the bruises and scars as melatonin memories. The night terrors that keep me up at night are just the tip of the iceberg of my problems. I'm the one who had to make the big decision to break up and eventually did break up with him.

Eventually, I turned on the tv thanks to Oliver getting the remote for me. My father came to get me for dinner, putting me in my wheelchair and wheeling me into an empty spot in the corner. My mother made lasagna once again and a lettuce salad with ranch, tomato, onions, and cucumbers. Oliver sat, watching me eat my salad as he ate the garlic bread. That's how the night went. Mother tried to make small talk but Father just hushed, her saying, "Axel doesn't want to talk."

The sad part was the fact that he wasn't wrong.

The world that I joined only brings sadness and lost memories. Maybe in the next life, things will be different.

Today though, today was Christmas. A day that Noah and I were supposed to spend together. But I failed him, yet again. Because of my lack of balls he left, never to spend another Christmas with me again.

Oliver helped me change into a pair of black jeans and a black button-up. I combed my hair and brushed my teeth in the bathroom while Oliver changed behind me.

"Nova's coming today, you two going to talk at all?" Oliver asked, looking at me with a worried expression dripped on his face.

Before I could even answer a knock came on the apartment door. Oliver walked out of the bathroom door to open it. The door opened and heels walked into the apartment. Before even seeing who was at the door, I already knew who it was.