legends never die || josh kiszka

1

Lorelei

The concrete stairs were frigid from the forty-five degree weather, causing my bottom to go numb. We've been sitting on these stairs for an hour in silence, grieving over what could've been our lives if things didn't have to go so wrong.

Anastasia and I's parents live in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, but we haven't brought ourselves to visit them. We haven't spoken to them since we moved to Florida two years ago. So here we were, sitting on the stairs of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, one of our most favorite places. It was relatively slow on this particular Christmas Day, mostly because people are with their families - something Anastasia and I didn't have.

We sat in silence for a little while longer, staring at the clear, blue sky, watching our breath escape into the air in small puffs. Every year on Christmas Day, we would come back to Pennsylvania to sit on these stairs, just to grieve what we've lost, which is so many things. Things that we will never be able to get back.

"You want to go to the church now?" Anastasia questioned, eyes closed and head resting on the hard concrete. I breathed a shaky sigh and answered a small 'yes,' sitting up from my laying position. We always come to our childhood church while we're here, and it just so happens that this Christmas fell on a Sunday, so our pastor is at church waiting for us.

We quietly stood up from the stairs and took a long look at the Museum, taking in the serenity and cinematic beauty that was captured here. After, we trudged down the stairs and began walking on the direction of the church, which was just down the street.

"Do you think Pastor will be disappointed in us?" I ask Anastasia as we walk past familiar faces on the street, many homeless. It was freezing today, so we had to layer clothes and put on a winter coat before leaving.

"I don't think so, he knows why we are the way we are." She frowned, blowing into her gloved hands. I looked down at the ground as we grew closer to the small church which was now in view. The large cross at the top stared me in the eyes, causing a feeling of culpability to rise in my stomach. I have been neglectful to God, and I know it. He knows it.

"It'll be fine, we do this every year." Anastasia smiled at me, noticing my discomfort. I nodded and continued walking, the duffle bag on my shoulder smacking my side with every step. After a few minutes, I found myself in front of our childhood church, stained glass windows on every side and the large doors propped open. Memories of my childhood began to flash quickly through my mind and I could barely stand anymore.

"Anastasia, Lorelei, it is so nice to see you again." A familiar voice broke me from my thoughts, which I was thankful for. I looked up to see Pastor Jacob coming down the concrete stairs, arms open with a warm expression. He enveloped me in a hug first, wrapping his large arms around my body. I allowed myself to relax and close my eyes, giving in to the hug that i've needed since Christmas last year. He gave me a sympathetic smile once we broke from our embrace and did the same to Anastasia.

"Well, come in! Let's get started." Pastor spoke, his voice raspy and warm. He was a hardcore sinner once himself, and that's the reason I know God still loves me after all I've done.

We walked into the church, the warm air allowing us to take off our coats and hang them up. I stripped of all my clothes besides my shirt and pants, and Anastasia did the same.

"You're not going to tell our moms about this, are you?" I asked, my voice shaky and full of worry. I scolded myself for allowing it to come out that way, but I knew I wouldn't be judged for it by Jacob.

"Of course not. When they come in tonight, my lips will be sealed." He smiled and waved his hand, telling me to follow him to the front of the church. Anastasia followed behind me, just as nervous as I was, although I know she'd never show it.