legends never die || josh kiszka

15

Josh

Lorelei's hair was tangled between my fingertips as her cheek rested against my chest, her breathing heavy and tears still wet on her face. I smiled at her although she couldn't see me in her sleeping state, but I did regardless. She was beautiful, issues and all.

After she'd calmed down, we laid in bed together and unintentionally fell asleep, fully clothed and lights on. I woke up around three in the morning and turned the lights off for her, kissing her on the forehead before quietly trying to sneak out of the room so I wouldn't wake her. I wasn't sure if I should've stayed or not, but I didn't want to push top much onto her right after figuring things out. She woke up before I even opened the door and in her sleepy state asked me to stay, which I happily obliged. I did go brush my teeth first and ditched my shirt when I came back in. She was patiently waiting for me, sitting up as she rubbed her tired eyes.

I eagerly laid back in bed with her, turning on the television because I knew she didn't like the complete darkness or silence. She wasted no time in falling back asleep, this time right against my side. I rubbed her back as she slept, trying to fall asleep myself, but was having some trouble for some reason. I didn't want to wake up and get shut out again as I did a few days ago.

I was just glad to have her back in my arms after what felt like forever. Those almost four days without her were unbearable and difficult. I just wanted to know if she was okay. Keagan kept telling me she was fine, but I had this strange feeling that she wasn't.

One night, I could hear her screams from down the hall, but none of us had a way to get back in. Anastasia and I begged Keagan for the card back while the others were still sleeping, but he went inside instead. He said she hadn't even woken up while he calmed her down, suggesting she was exhausted. My heart throbbed for her, and especially the person I knew lived inside of her. That child-like spirit that lied within had to be hurting and there was nothing I could do about it.

I didn't want to startle her, but under my marijuana intoxicated self, I was desperate to talk to her, to feel her. So I lied to the nice secretary at the front desk and told her i'd left my key at the venue, and she gave me a new one to use.

I knocked first, obviously, but when she didn't answer, I panicked and entered, soon hearing the familiar tune of "Flower Power" coming from the bathroom along with the water running. I was so relieved to hear her singing, knowing she'd just been in the shower. I almost left, but something told me to stay.

I'm glad I did.

The things she said didn't really hurt me, only at first because I knew she was lying. She's a terrible liar, so when she said those things without looking at me, or when she played with the hem of her shirt, I knew she'd been lying and she really did care about me after all.

She'd already called herself my girlfriend right before she fell asleep, explaining she couldn't tell Anastasia about it. My heart warmed at the sound of her voice, especially when she was excited. I was ecstatic about calling her mine, finally.

I wasn't mendacious when I told her I wanted to work together to work on her "issues," as we have deemed them to be. So about ten minutes ago when she started to have the same nightmare she always does, i'm assuming, I gently woke her from her sleep and wiped her tears. I ran my fingers through her hair as I rubbed her back until she fell back asleep, breathing erratic and a fistful of the blanket between her fingers. That is something I noticed she not only does when she has nightmares, but also when she's stressed. Whether it was her shirt, my shirt, or some other fabric, she was always holding onto something.

I also wasn't lying when I told her I liked her. I love her, actually. I wasn't going to admit that to her yet because I didn't want to scare her off, but it was true. I loved her and all of the little things that comprises her. She was elegant, beautiful, and youthful, so full of light and love. When I invited myself inside her room that night in Helena, it was because I could feel that something was off - and I was right.