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Epilogue

Every light starts with the dark.
 
 
Every night before you fall asleep, darkness consumes you. Flooding you with the thoughts you tried to avoid the whole day, memories you’ve been running from your whole life. But the moment you fall asleep, in your dreams, you find hope, or more likely, an escape.
 
 
You wake in the morning with the sound of your alarm. With your eyes still closed, you search for your phone on your bed or on your bed side table to press that button to shut the annoyingly loud sound produced by the alarm you set the night before darkness consume you. And there you lie awake, not wanting to open your eyes or start your day. You start to ponder on how bad this day could possibly go. But then you open your eyes, see the sun shining thru your windows and you tell yourself to pull it together and the show must go on, the day will go on even if there are times that you just want it to take a break and stand still for a couple of minutes, or maybe hours.
 
 
Here I am, in the darkest part of the stage, waiting for the show to start. My show to start. I could hear the fans cheering, screaming. I could feel their excitement. It fills my stomach with butterflies. Everyone was waiting for me. To come up. To show up. And I wait as well. For the loud introduction music to dwindle down. And it finally did. Now there’s silence. Silence full of anticipation on how do I look, how will enter the stage, how will I start the show. And I gave my signal, with my eyes closed as I pray for this night to be safe for everyone. The podium in the middle of the stage starts going up, slowly revealing my silhouette to the crowd making them a hundred times wilder, screaming a thousand times louder. I opened my eyes and there, I see my light. My sea of light. I took a moment to appreciate the brightest light behind this dark and cruel world I am in. The people who loves me.
 
 
The screaming starts to fall off and murmurs and chattering starts to afloat. My team starts to panic as I haven’t given my signature line to start the show. I took a few heaves of deep breaths, inhaling the mix scent in the arena and my favorite perfume that I wore before going to the stage. I look for my brightest lights in every kind of darkness in this massive crowd. And there, I saw them, sitting altogether in front of the stage.
 

My famiy. The Parks. Mom, Dad, Alice and her new found love whom I still don’t approve of by the way. They’ve always been my guiding light wherever I go, whatever darkness I might face.
 

Jennie and Lisa, my best friends who managed to find love in the midst of all the chaos. Or maybe, more appropriate to say that they were able to find the courage to give happiness a chance despite the fear of being hurt. They  were the dwindling candle who tried their best to light my path even if it consumes them.
 

And beside the love birds, the Kims. Mr. and Mrs. Kim, or should I call them Mom and Dad too? The people I owe a lot. I wouldn’t have my brightest light if it wasn’t for them.

 
Jiho, with Sunny on his lap, holding a little banner with my name on it, cheering as loud as she could in her cute little voice. She’s my cutest fan and no one could say otherwise.
 

And of course my brightest light. My Kim, my Jisoo, my fiancé, soon to be my wife, looking straight at me, wearing that heart shaped smile I longed to see, and soon, the smile that I get to wake up every morning. Oh God I love this woman so much. Not just because of what she’s done for me, but because of everything that she is and everything that she isn’t. If I’ll be given a chance to redo my life and go back to the day I first felt her lips on mine, I’ll go back at it and change one thing. I’ll make sure to turn off the stove so the chicken won’t burn, and nothing will interrupt me from kissing her the whole night, and making her mine. Only mine.
 

A lone drop of tear rolled down my cheeks. A drop that holds a thousand pains but millions of happiness. I’m finally out of the dark. Finally. And for the last time, I held my mic closer to my mouth, and started my final show.
 

“Fansé? This beat got me feeling like…”

The End.