cast l.h

week five

The autumn in October was not the same here as Vermont. There was hardly a cool breeze and no one has large coats to throw on at a moments notice.

Almost every girl I've noticed walks out of class with a Pumpkin Spice Latte wearing a huge victorias secret jacket. Not everyone... but a lot are the same. Opposed to me who wears jeans almost everyday with converse and a tshirt.

It's actually a relief not having to wear layers and layers of clothing that you have to take off everytime you go inside but I occasionally miss the feeling of North East fall.

On campus, I found a get away, the place I go in between almost every class, it's a little tea and coffee shop. You pay for a kettle and get to make your own teabags. Quite clever.

I never thought I was a tea person, but I guess I am.

This Wednesday it was particularly dry and chilly. I survived through my morning class and found myself back at the little shop. I had come many times so I guess you could say I'm a regular.

¨Morning Izy!¨ the cheerful blonde worker said when I walked through the door, I waved and sat at the small table in the corner hiding behind a bookshelf.

The aroma of the space was probably my favorite part; it smelt different everyday. Some mornings it would smell like cinnamon or coffee beans or rose petals but this morning it smelt like Lemon. By far my favorite.

I ordered the workers ¨daily special tea blend¨ which big surprise, was Lemon; I added a spoonful of cream and plenty of honey.

After what seems a hour of tea sipping and textbook reading I am pleasantly interrupted by Luya, the girl I had met the first day. I hadn't seen her recently and its a nice surprise.

¨Hi!" she says ¨Isabella right?

I laugh ¨Izzy, but close enough. Want to sit? I was just finishing up some reading?¨

¨Oh sure!¨ She placed her bags on the floor and sat on the seat facing mine. She smiled, it was large and she has the most beautiful face. I unintentionally sink down in my seat a bit.

¨So how is college treating you?¨ She questions after ordering a black coffee.

¨It's actually great, I can't believe I am actually here.¨ I laugh and then catch myself. I shouldn't have said that.

¨What do you mean? Of course you are here, you seem to be one of the smarter people I've meet here!¨

¨Well thank you,¨ I say with a small smile. ¨It's just complicated. I guess I'm relieved to be here compared to where I could've ended up.¨

She laughs and sips her steaming mug, ¨I won't even pretend to know what you are talking about but I'm glad you like it here.¨

I smile and sip my now room temperature tea. She sits and tells me of all her classes, volleyball, and her boyfriend Michael from back home.

I can't remember what it's like to have a boyfriend. In high school I wasn't short of guys who wanted to hang out, I just was never into any of them long enough to qualify it as a relationship. I'm ashamed of the substance those relationships entailed.

Late nights either being high or drunk. No real feelings of love... just lust if that.

The way Luya makes her relationship sound makes me feel a bit jealous. I want that feeling she describes as electricity whenever they are together.

It's doubtful I will ever have that though. No one would ever love me if they knew what I did and who I was. Any genuinely beautiful person would never forgive what I did, they'd be disgusted.

What makes me think I could ever be loved when I hardly know what love is?

I do my best not to go to that place, because I always went to that place when I was locked up and it only made me fall into depression.

Eventually she runs out of things to talk about and begins asking about me.

¨Where are you from?¨

¨Vermont,¨ I say doing my best to be vauge but not rude.

¨Do you live on campus?¨

¨No I live with my aunt outside of town.¨

Simples questions and simples answers continue until I am about to leave to my next class. We exchange numbers and then I get up lifting my heavy bag over my shoulder.

Before I leave she calls out to me, ¨Are your parents coming next week? Maybe ours could meet!¨

I stop in my tracks and gulp, ¨Uhhh... I'm not sure why would they?¨

She smiles completely unaware of my uncomfort, ¨It's parent week!¨

I nod and walk out wondering what parent week even means, what's the point? They won't come and I would never expect that, they hate me and I don't blame them.

A/N

YAY MICHAEL! (he'll be coming into context soon, along with cal and ash).

Hope you guys are enjoying this because writing it is so fun but also nerve wracking! This is a filler but I'll be updating really soon.

I love youuuuu

Jo

ps: follow me on twitter. @ohwoahmichael