VERY CRINGE BOOK, I WROTE IT 2020 .
pick me girl vibes
"girl i know you got daddy issues"
"how would you know are you some fucking stalker"
started 19th of october 2020
finished 18th of march 2021
today gus was going on ham radio with some of gbc. he told me i could come but i didn't want to. by the way gus looked soooooo good today. like oh my god.
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yeah he looked really good and don't even say he isn't cause you know he looks good. "aight were leaving now" gus said. "okay bye" i said kissing him. he held onto the kiss and pushed me against the wall. i pulled away. "gus you have to go" i said. "i don't wanna go i want to stay here with you" he said. "i'll wait here for you now go". then he left.
[ a few hours later ]
gus came home. well everyone came home. i was in gus's bedroom on my phone. i fell asleep earlier. he just came home so i went to go see him obviously. he was high. i looked at him. he was laughing at something someone said. he turned and looked at me. fucking asshole. i went back to his room and got my clothes and put them in my bag. i was so pissed. i knew he still did drugs. but he was never wasted this bad.
he came into his room. i was putting my shoes on. "baby where are you going" he said. "home" i replied back. "why" he asked. "cause your fucked up on what ever you took" i said. gus sighed. i was about to walk out of the room but gus pulled me back. "don't leave" he said. i didn't answer him and walked out.
he followed me to my car. "luna wait" he said. i turned around. "gus i know you still do drugs okay. i know you still take xans and do other shit, go get fucked up when i'm not there. don't come running back to me when you regretted this" i said. "bu-" i cut him off. "gus just come over when your sober" i said and walked away.
i drove home. i wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now. i went to my bedroom and layed down on my bed. i fell asleep for a few hours. i woke up to my phone ringing it was layla. "luna you need to come to the hospital real quick" she said panicking. "what happened" i said grabbing my shoes. "its gus" she said. "fuck i'll be there now".
i grabbed my keys and got out of my apartment quickly. i got into my car and drove to the hospital. the traffic was fucking bad so it kinda took me longer to get the there then i thought.
i got to the hospital. i called layla. she told me what level gus was on. i met her in the waiting room. she ran over to me and hugged me. "layla is he okay" i said. "no" she said. fuck. "who's in with him now" i said. "tracy" she said. can tracy not be done any quicker. he came out after 5 minutes. he hugged me. i hugged him back and walked into the room there gus was. i walked over to the bed and sat down. he looked at me and weakly smiled. "baby i'm so sorry for leaving" i said. "stop crying" he said with a low voice. "i love you so much" i said. " i love you too" he said.
then i woke up. i was sweating bad. it was just a dream. for some reason i felt like it was a sign to go see gus.
i got the apartment. i walked in since the door is never fucking locked. "where's gus" i asked. "in his room" someone said. i went to his room. i knocked on the door. there was no response. so i just opened it. he was lying on his bed. "i'm sorry" i said putting my head on his chest. he didn't respond. i wrapped arms around him and hugged him. he hugged me back.
we layed there. just us two. gus played with my hair. sometimes i think about how needy i am. i couldn't go without a full day without him. that is provably bad. i don't know why but i was so annoyed at him but i also wasn't. i think i'm just annoyed with myself
— i hate this chapter so much. my phone keyboard is all weird and lagging. so ima kill someone. anyway. THANK U FOR 7K READS LOVE U SO MUCH peace and love.
