VERY CRINGE BOOK, I WROTE IT 2020 .
pick me girl vibes
"girl i know you got daddy issues"
"how would you know are you some fucking stalker"
started 19th of october 2020
finished 18th of march 2021
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lunaspen:🩸 lilpeep:so fucking hot lunaspen:@lilpeep thank u baby😘😘 siiickbrain:u single?😏 lunaspen:@siiickbrain no but i can make some changes😏 toopoor:iamgay lunaspen:@toopoor same random.user8262825:😈😈 mackned:😍😏 load more comments
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"it's only me and you baby girl" gus said wrapping his arms around me. "i hate la i don't even know what i moved here it's just full with fake people,everyone is the fucking same here and it's so annoying" i said " i know baby girl but we have eachother,that's all we need right now" gus said. i nodded my head and moved my body closer to his embrace.
TW: drug use and self harm!!!
i have had probably 3 panic attacks this week. my anxiety is getting worse everyday. i don't wanna tell gus because i know he'll worry about me,i don't want that stress on him. he already has enough anxiety and stress anyway,i don't wanna put even more on him. also lately he's fucked up most nights i don't know why he suddenly started to do more drugs then usual. it's probably his depression is getting worse everyday. i wanna try help him,but he's already broken. we both can't be fixed. i have gone through some fucked up shit in the past,same with gus. he has gone through things i can't imagine. he deserves everything. i wanna give him everything but i can't. someone who is broken can't try fix someone who is also broken. sometimes i feel like dying but then i be like no luna don't think like that. sometimes i cut myself, i always wear long sleeved tops till the cuts heal. i remember once in high school,i hated most people aka everyone. a teacher caught me cutting myself and my shitty fucking school didn't do anything about it. i don't really care anymore,i'll be dying soon anyway.
"whatcha think about boo" gus said "just life" "i hate life" he said " i hate my fucking life i wanna end it" i said "baby no" gus said grabbing me and holding me. "it's too much gus" i said while tears fell out of my eyes. "what's too much" " life,i have no fucking family they don't even talk to me, everyone hates me,i hate myself mostly and life is getting boring at this point" i said while more tears fell for my eyes. "listen boo,ima get big one day okay,we can live together have a life,maybe have some kids" he said nudging me. i laughed quietly. "don't cry baby girl" "your the best thing that ever happened to me" he said gently kissing my lips. my heart exploded. he's so fucking cute, he wiped my tears away and kissed my head. we layed there till we both fell asleep.
i woke up before gus,i looked at him. he looked so fucking perfect with his messy hair,long eyelashes and his big lips. i didn't wanna move and check the time. i stayed there for awhile,til i got bored. i got my phone. "put your phone down and sleep more" gus said "fine". i couldn't sleep gus was sound asleep, i didn't even check what time it was,i was getting hungry too. "gus" i said lightly shaking him. "mhm" he groaned, "do you want food i'm getting some" "yeah get me something i like" he said quietly. i ordered myself tacos and got gus indian food since that's one of his favourite foods. after awhile my phone buzzed and told me my food has arrived. i got up and opened gus's bedroom door and went to get the food. in the living room was wiggy,nedarb and tracy. i opened the door and thanked the person. "what food did you get" wiggy said "i got tacos and i got gus indian food" i said putting it on the counter top. i walked back to gus's room to wake him up. me and gus walked to the kitchen. "lil pepe" nedarb(braden) said "whats up bro" gus said in a raspy voice. it was hot. i laughed to myself, " what are you laughing at" gus said "nothing,nothing" i said taking the food out of the bag.
after our food, me and gus sat on the couch with the boys. i got bored after awhile. i yawned, "ima go back to your room" i said to gus pecking him on the cheek. "okay" he replied back. i went to gus's bedroom and watched something on his tv. "whatcha watching" nate said out of nowhere. i jumped. "why did you open the door so fucking slow" i said "to scare you duh" "anyway what do you want for your birthday bestie" he said "you can buy me food and i'll be happy" i said "deal" he said walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. i hated getting gifts off people,i hate my birthday it's the worse day of the year. most girls love the attention, but i really fucking hate it.
i felt my body being moved. the tv was still on. "it's only me baby" gus said. he was getting me changed into a t shirt, that's fucking cute,don't tell me it's not. that's all i remember. i woke up. gus was beside me. it was still dark out so i guessing it was still the night,i moved closer to gus and fell back asleep.
— lil gus and luna chapter. i'm using them things "these" they looked nicer. okay peace love u.
