Wayhaught Love

Jolene

Warning this chapter details depressive and suicidal thoughts and actions.

Waverly POV

After our discussion with Nedley we headed back to the homestead with Moms medical files and some cassette recordings of her therapy sessions. We both grabbed some dinner and ate in silence. I noticed Nicole looking at me with sadness in her eyes. "What?" I asked looking up at her. She didn't answer me instead she came round and and placed her hands and my cheeks and then kissed me with passion.  I pulled back first breathing heavily.

"I am so sorry sweetheart."  She said tears trickling down her cheeks.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." I responded.  "Babe.  Hey."  I wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I want to listen to some of my Mom's therapy tapes if you want to listen to them with me?"

"Only if you are sure?" She asked me. I nodded and headed for the living room getting the CD player.  We put the first cassette in and started to listen.

About an hour later we had listened to two of her sessions and I had just put in the third. "Would you like some tea?" Nicole asked. I nodded and she headed into the kitchen to get some.  A little while later I saw her coming back through with a cup in each hand. "Be careful it's hot." She said handing me my cup.  "Has she said anything."  I shook my head.

"Just that she doesn't give a damn about her family."  I said.  Doc came in all looking spooked wanting whiskey.  I headed out to the barn for more bottles and found my mom in there lighting candles.  "Mom."  I said in shock.  "What are you doing?"

"Kill the demon."  She replied.

"The demon is it me?"  I asked.

"No sweetheart but it is after you."  Mama said pointing peacemaker at me. 

The next thing I know was that I am sitting in the kitchen with everyone eating sweet treats. 

The next morning my head felt a little fuzzy, I looked over at the other side of the bed to see it was empty, Nicole must have already left for work. I got up and got dressed before heading downstairs I saw Jolene and Wynonna talking. "Morning Jolene." I said happily and then I looked at Wynonna. "Wynonna."

"Mama's tied up in the barn she keeps saying that she wasn't here to hurt you but I won't take that chance."  Wynonna said.

"Okay maybe I'll go talk to her." I said heading out to the barn.

Later on we headed to Shorty's for some celebratory drinks after defeating the demon who came for me when I was born.  Jolene was behind the bar serving up drinks, Kate was reading drunk people's palm. I headed to find Doc when I heard Wynonna shout. "I need max room for max beer."

"Or whiskey." Mama said back. They both were laughing their heads off. 

A little while later I saw Wynonna looking upset and Jolene heading into the bathroom I followed them.  "Hey.  Are you okay?"  I asked concerned

"See, Waverly gets it.  She's the one that told me that Kate was his wife."  "Jolene said.

"You knew?!"  Wynonna said loudly.

"Well... it was Doc's right to tell...  I didn't think I should."  I tried to explain.

"Be loyal?"  Wynonna asked rhetorically.

"Yeah."  I replied.

"Look, Wynonna, Kate came for him, not vice versa.  Now, you shove those legendary Earp ta-tas up and you go and you tantalize that man."  Jolene said.

"I don't think that's a good idea."  I pointed out.

"So you can't not be on Wynonna's side and then tell her how to behave."  Jolene said.

"Well... since when do we have sides?"  I asked.

"I dunno, but you sure as hell don't seem to be on mine, half-sister."  Wynonna said and I left feeling upset.

After the bar fight and Nicole flirting with Jolene I went to the police station to bail out Mama and Wynonna and saw Nicole. "Ahem.  Hi."  I said

"Okay."  Nicole said abruptly.

"Oh, I-I... just came to bail them out."  I said.

"Well, no bail for drunks.  They stay until they're not."  She said without emotion.

"Oh, well, then see you next week."  I said jokingly.

"Even though Wynonna did assault an officer,
I'm not gonna press charges.  But Michelle? We've gotta turn her in to the feds."  Nicole said.

"What?  Nicole!  No."  I started.

"Harbouring a fugitive at your home, one who tried to kill you as a child?!  What were you thinking?!"  Nicole shouted.

"She's my mother!"  I shouted back.

"And I'm a cop!  You didn't think to talk to me about it first?!"  Nicole shouted.

"Uh, I was... I was going to."  I replied.

"Hmm.  But you didn't.  I had to hear it from Jolene."  Nicole said.  "Were you not even thinking about me at all?  Am I always the last person you consider?!"

"No. I...  I'm so sorry.  I... Can I call you later?"  I asked.

"Yeah, or don't". She said grabbing her lemon scone she walked away and I headed to the break room crying. After a while Doc came and asked me how I was, reluctantly, and I told him.

After that I drove for a while, I was tempted to just drive off the road and die. I am clearly a burden, Nicole possibly just dumped me. I drove all the way back to the Gibson Farm and headed for the Greenhouse. I felt like I could collapse with all the crying.  There I found Jolene. "Who are you?" I asked.

"I was born at the exact same time as you." She replied.

"Twins?" I asked confused.

"In a sick sense. The universe craves balance. And you came and arrived out of the light, and I... I crawled out of the muck." She explained. "Everything good was given to you. Freedom, flaxen hair, family. And what did I get? I got shunned, starved... reviled!"

"Oh...". I said upset.

"But we're equals now. Because nobody loves you either." Jolene said.

"Why don't you do it?" I cried.

"Haven't you been listening?! We're linked, you idiot!!! Do it, you useless piece of skin." Jolene screamed at me.

"Wynonna! Wynonna loves me. Yes. Yes. Always. And... and despite what happened tonight, I know... I know that Nicole does too. And... and... and Doc and... Jeremy and... oh, Mama." I realised.

"You're lying to yourself." She suggested.

"No." I shook my head.

"You don't bring them a single thing!" Jolene said.

"I'm here. I'm here and I stay... And I love them back and... And I... I never, never, never give up on them." I cried. I dropped the knife. "This is for Nicole." I grabbed the spade and knocked her down with hit. I hit her but she was quicker. "And this is for making me feel worthless!"

"You can't kill me without killing yourself!" Jolene pointed out.

"But she can." I looked up.

"I'm your friend. You love me." Jolene begged me.

"I love her more." Wynonna said during.

"Goddamn Earps." Jolene said running off.

"Hey. Hey, hey." Wynonna hugged me tightly.

"Don't let the bitch get away." I said.