Tears, Mistakes & Heartache

Chapter 76 - Hero's Heartache

"Ok Hero and Jo that was good" Jen tells us as we both stand in the middle of a coffee shop staring into each other's eyes, Jo's appear to have an extra sparkle as I try to keep my focus on her instead of letting myself drift off to thoughts of the cheating blue eyed girl back home "lets take a break, grab some food and then get changed for the next scene ok" I offer a smile before trying to escape wanting some time on my own to maybe dig for some more information from the guys back home, but who could I trust not to rat me out to Freddie or Brandon?

My mind has been all over the place since last nights showdown with Freddie, my focus today has taken 6 hours to finally set in and my lines to actually come out as they should but something is still not sitting right and fishing for information from the boys really won't help because I know exactly what it is, right now I need to know the truth I need to hear her voice tell me that she is ok and that I have nothing to regret when I finally decide what to do with the new contract.

"Hello.... Hero are you actually listening to me?" Jo's fake American accent finally enters my head and breaks me from my thoughts from the craziness that's happening up there as she waves her hand in front of my face.

"Sorry Jo" I make my apologies "I have had a lot on my mind" I decide to keep the details vague, I mean if I can't trust the people I have known nearly all my life with the details then how am I meant to trust the people I have know for just two months with my secrets.

"You know Hero you can't keep moping around after a girl who doesn't want your ass" her words sting as I register them "I mean you have other options to keep you entertained over the next few years" I bite down on my lip feeling a twitch in my boxers as I pray to god it doesn't come of anything in these skinny jeans "maybe its time to move your needs elsewhere" she purrs as she runs her fingers down my spine causing me to shudder at her touch.

Silence takes over when I don't respond to her opting instead to regain control of myself as we head toward the food tent, I haven't been eating like I normally do and with my skinny ass I really cant afford to lose weight so today I will push myself to tuck into some of the delicious foods available to me. I walk along the table grabbing a chicken salad sandwich and a bag of Cheetos before heading over and grabbing a can of coke, needing the sugar to keep me boosted for the next few hours on set.

I settle down at the table that is filled with my costars not wanting to be rude by just leaving the tent with my food and hiding out in my trailer for yet another lunch break. Inanna offers me a smile her face always sporting a look of concern when she sees me and Sam nods his head in greeting "Hey man, you good?" He asks

"Yeah man, you?" I opt to keep the conversation simple not wanting to crumble under the constant need for questions about my life back home from any of them. A sense of relief washes over me as Josephine joins us knowing that now she will become the centre of their attention because unlike me these last few weeks she has been open to fill them in on what life in sunny old Oz is really like.

Sam smiles "yeah I'm good" he states, his eyes focusing on me like they are trying to look into my soul as his long locks bounce up and down around his face as he tries to read my shut down mood for yet another day.

I zone out of the constant chattering from either side of me that is spanning down the long table that I am currently sitting at, as I pick at my food instead I think about home and what my mum would tell me to do if she was in this position I have found myself, I mean would she tell me to follow my head which is telling me to run and hide from everything or would she tell me to follow my heart even if it is only going to end in heartache for us both? I have no idea but maybe I should head to my trailer and call her quickly maybe a chat with her will settle my spinning mind and help me to focus back onto the job at hand.