Tears, Mistakes & Heartache

Chapter 49 - Why?

"Emily" I shout out through the flat, I finally managed to fall asleep after hours of watching her restlessly sleep in my arms hours of trying to work out what the fuck happened to her last night. I searched for signs that I had done something to upset her that I had said the wrong thing but I just kept coming up blank I'm sure that once I arrived at the hotel everything that followed until she went in that shower was perfect we had laughed and smiled endlessly we had made love more times in a day than ever before and we had finally started planning our wedding so why exactly did this happen I have still have no clue and to make matter worse I woke this morning to her side of the bed not only empty but cold meaning she snuck out of bed a longtime ago.

I pad around the flat trying to find her but she is definitely not here, my stomach churns at the thought that she has gone off somewhere, I dart across the room to the hook by the stairs and her keys are still hanging there so she hasn't gone far, I let out a sigh of relief as I flick the tv on, maybe she is in the studio but within seconds that draws yet another dead end in my search.

Where the hell has, she gone? I really need her to tell me what happened last night but more than anything I need to know that she is ok. My heart aches when she does this, she shuts herself down and I have no way of ever trying to work out what is going to happen next, I have no way of reaching her and getting her to tell me anything. All I ever want is for us to be open with each other and I have tried to share everything with her but there are moments I do not think she is doing the same and this is one of those moments.

My thoughts are cut short when I hear the front door slam closed, I'm on my feet and taking long strides across the room as her steps are climbing up the stairs both of us coming to a halt at the same time the shock on her face at my presence confusing me more "morning" she sings out as my eyes widen in shock at her cheery demeanor

"Morning" I reply with a hint of sarcasm, but she misses it completely or chooses to ignore it as she walks straight past me towards the kitchen "where have you been?" I ask trying to keep my cool instantly spotting her running trainers and realizing the question was a pointless one, so I quickly throw another one at her "why didn't you take your phone or leave a note?"

I stand silently watching her move around the room grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before she pulls herself up onto a stall "I went for a run and I didn't think you would be awake yet" she shrugs her shoulders like it just doesn't matter

"and that was a fucking great idea after last night wasn't it" I spit "what if you were ill or whatever the fuck all that was in the shower" I throw my arms around knowing that my temper is fraying but still fighting to keep it together

I watch her eyes roll into the back of her head as she drops herself back down onto her feet again "I am fine last night was nothing so just leave it alone will you" she walks passed me like it means nothing "now I'm going for a shower before I turn my phone on and then I need to get some work done" she calls out as I watch gob smacked as she saunters off to the bedroom without a damn care in the world.

I pace the room trying to calm myself down with the usual crap of counting to ten and thinking of other things whilst fighting the urge to storm into the fucking bathroom and demand answers from her. How can she just act like nothing happened how can she even think I will just let it go, surely, she knows me better than that.

I jump to my feet stepping into my trainers and grabbing a hoodie to cover my bare chest, I snatch her studio keys of the hook and rush downstairs. As soon as I am inside I check her diary for classes, she has nothing on this week meaning she has no reason to be in the studio today, with a smug smirk I lock the door back up and run up the stairs two at a time praying she hasn't come out into the living area again. I breathe a sigh of relief when I spot our phones on the kitchen side where we left them last night, I lift them both into my hands and head into the spare room throwing the phones into the top draw on the bedside table, hiding them from her is my only option right now to get her to actually open up to me.