Tears, Mistakes & Heartache

Chapter 53 - I am Sorry

A/N - SURPRISE! I have given you Tuesdays Chapter early but please check out the Author Notes at the end of this chapter for more information on upcoming chapter days.

"Emme please answer the phone" I chant over and over as the ringing tone feeds into my ear

"You have reached Emily Dean's phone please leave a message after the beep"

I have repeatedly hit the redial button for the last hour but instead of getting the frosty response I have been dreading since I got back to my room last night I have just been getting to hear her cheery voicemail which I have left ten messages on and that's without the fifteen text messages that she has left me on read for, every single one of them she has opened and disregarded like they don't matter and I am starting to think that she has taken every single one of the Instagram posts from last night in what I wish was a wrong way but in actual fact each post shows me sat next to Kirsty smiles on our faces and the green of my eyes barely visible from my blown out pupils.

Alcohol, my natural flirty nature and a need for a sexual release all had me making mistakes last night, mistakes that I will regret and mistakes that I have no choice but to be honest about when she finally answers the fucking phone to me and more than anything mistakes I hope wont destroy all the hard work we have done to get our relationship in the place it really needs to be for us to be happy.

I have to be down in the lobby in twenty minutes, I rush my hungover ass into the bathroom chucking my phone onto the sink unit with a little more force than I intended but in my pissed off state I opt for stripping off my boxers and climbing into a stone cold shower instead of checking that I didn't just break the damn thing. The icy water clearing my hangover whilst also feeling like a punishment for my stupidity with my actions last night, as the water hits my skin like a million needles I feel my heart begin to crack, I have fucked this up again but this time I won't let her go this time I will be fighting for her, this time I am moving my ass back to Winchester as soon as my last scene is done.

I jump out the shower toweling my body dry followed by my hair, I brush my teeth as I grab everything from the shower chucking it all into my washbag, I rinse my mouth out grabbing my phone I quickly pull on my clothes before loading up my suitcase with last night's discarded clothes dialing the directors number at the same time "Hero you coming down man?" I quickly look at the time on my phone realizing I should have left the room already

"Yeah I'm just coming now but before I do I need to check out and head home tonight is that alright?" the words are rushing out of me

"yeah that's cool but is everything ok?"

I hold my case wheeling it along beside me as I slam the door closed to my room praying, I have not forgotten anything in my rush to get packed up.

I land in the lobby, Lou meeting me as soon as I step out of the lift "what's going on?" he enquires straight away "I thought you wanted to stay for the wrap party tomorrow?" I shake my head at him my emotions fighting to explode from me as he keeps pushing for a verbal reply from me "Hero, did something happen"

My head snaps round to face him, he steps back away from me his own eyes darting across the lobby towards Kirsty "did things get out of hand between you two last night?" he whispers

"Fuck no" I spit at him "I just need to get home to Emme she isn't well that's all" I take in his nod as he walks away from me "I will follow in my own car" I call out after him not wanting to share with her, not wanting to spend any time with her that isn't for this tv show.

Connecting my phone to my stereo I continue to hit the redial button all the way to set, every beat of her sweet little voice from her message ringing through my car leaving me with my heart sinking deeper and deeper as I drive, my mind going crazy for excuses of why she isn't answering still, surely she wants to cuss me out by now. Rounding the final corner into the car park, I dial one last time this time getting her voicemail instantly without a single ring meaning she is either listening to the messages or she has switched her phone off pissed with my constant calling. No, I have to believe she will call back soon I have to focus on these last few hours before I drive my ass back down south and fix this whole fucked up mess.