Tears, Mistakes & Heartache

Chapter 45 - Did we make plans?

Summer is over and I have managed to see Hero for one whole week and a couple of weekends in the last three months, today is the day he is finally returning home for a few weeks and we made the decision to take time out at the end of each long break between seeing each other and to get away from everything, no phones just the two of us taking time for us.

I have one case led out on the floor of our wardrobe stuffing my side with the new underwear I had been saving from my last shoot with Serenity Lust, as the thongs bras and stockings all hit my case I pull out my favorite autumn outfits, the thought of covering myself in this lingerie before layering up before we head out into the New Forest to explore makes me happy and giddy with excitement but most of all knowing that Hero will be there to remove the layers of clothing like a game of pass the parcel to reveal his gift at the end makes my pulse quicken with expectation for an amazing lust filled long weekend.

I move to Hero's wardrobe collecting the clothes I love the most on him before packing them into his side of the case, with a quick time check I finally move onto our shoes and all the other little thing on my list I would forget if I didn't insist on being a little bit OCD about how I prepare for a trip.

The cases are by the door and I am snuggled up on the sofa in my jeans and chunky jumper waiting for Hero to finally come home to me so we can start this weekend before anything else comes up in our hectic diaries. I take a sip of my coffee lifting my iPad from the coffee table I scroll through my socials trying to waste time, our friends are all back at uni and they have taken over our social feeds with there crazy photos and complaints of hangovers I can't help but laugh at them as I think about how different my life is now to how I expected it to be before I met Hero.

My dreams of working as a social worker in a school have disappeared and instead, I have built up my own dance school, the fixed lessons are fully booked, and my floating spaces are filled most weeks too. I helped with the summer performance for my old stage school and I have already done the choreography for the winter one although I am not going to be training them in the hope that Hero and I can spend some quality time together over the winter months.

"Hey baby girl" he sounds exhausted and I'm starting to think that our plan to get away wasn't such a good one "what's with the cases?" he points across the room

My heart sinks a little "we are going away remember?" he lifts his head to look at me confusion taking over his face "you forgot" I state "we are heading to the new forest to check out a wedding venue for the weekend" still nothing but confusion written all over his face as I push myself up from the sofa.

"I don't remember us making a booking, I remember talking about it but not actually agreeing to go this weekend" he states, I dip my head avoiding his stare not wanting to show him how hurt I am by his words instead I focus on pouring him a coffee.

I pad my way back across the room holding out the mug for him "it's ok I will cancel it you seem to drained to focus on our wedding venue so we will just make plans for another time" I know it was a dig and I know it was petty but I have been looking forward to this weekend for weeks and the fact he doesn't even remember hurts a little more than I want to admit to.

When no words leave his mouth my heart sinks, dragging the cases back into the bedroom I head straight for the wardrobe, my designated hiding spot when I am so wound up, I want to burst. Opening the cases I pull his clothes out, every item of my own is pulled out and with without realizing I have transferred my own items into one case while putting his into the second one.

After several minutes of huffing and puffing like a disgruntled toddler I decide that I am not going to miss out on my weekend away, I have been here in this flat mainly alone for months and I'm not willing to sit here for yet another weekend while he sleeps and watches football.