Tears, Mistakes & Heartache

Chapter 12 - Decisions & Time

She needs time to process, that is all she kept saying she needs time she didn't say she hated what happened, but she didn't say she enjoyed it either she just said that she needed time.

We were lead next to each other processing what had happened and she just whispered "please leave" when I choked on the small cough that escaped me it ended up turning into a massive coughing fit which took over as I quickly dressed myself and stood looking at her tiny form sat on her king size bed with her knees pulled up to her chest and her sheets wrapped around her like she is trying to hide herself like a mummy.

"I'm sorry" that was the feeble words that fell from my mouth all over again, I am an absolute joke all I can ever do is say sorry we don't have anything resolved if anything I made it a million times worse by fucking her like she was worthless to me.

My bedroom door comes crashing open "hey bro you ready to head back?" with a groan I take in the fact we are back to me not knowing where I stand

When I left her room we were never going to be in contact again but then she pulled me back inside and we made love, No we fucked there was no love involved and I am back to square one do I send Ti to get my stuff or do I climb to my feet and head home so I can wait for her to decide if we are finally done or not.

My bed dips as my brother sits his ass down on it "what happened last night Hero?"

With my chin on my chest I grumble "I fucked her"

"you're kidding, right?" I shake my head at him "why? Why the hell would you do that? how could you ever think that having sex would solve your issues?"

I let out a puff of air "she asked me too" I shrug "she asked me to show her how I fucked Ava she said she couldn't even start to think about if there was any way we could move forward until she knew what it was that she thinks I want and she wouldn't have it any other way so I did it"

"you did it because the offer for sex was there you used your dick to do the thinking as always" he barks at me

"NO, I did what she asked I did what she wanted me to do" I shout back at him the thoughts racing through my head from last night, the way she had asked and the way I wanted nothing more than to strip her down and get her beautiful body out of that awful dress the way I wanted to be inside her even if it was just one last time

"shit your right I did it because the thought of never being inside her again was killing me and she offered herself to me and I snatched it with both hands and it was one of the two biggest mistakes of my life because she asked me to leave straight afterwards so now all my memories are ruined by what happened last night and I hate it, I hate myself"

"So, when is she heading back? Do we need to move you out?" he asks completely ignoring my rant like he doesn't give a shit

I shrug my shoulders "I have no idea how we left it?" I groan "thanks for the concern bro" I reply with attitude in my tone

A loud outbreak of laughter confirms how entertained he is by this "you did this you fucked it up because you thought with your dick and then you went and made it worse by thinking with your dick"

I glare at him knowing I can't even argue with him because he is right I did all of this because all I ever think about is sex "I will send her a message and see" I grab my phone terrified of the reply I will get

Emily can you let me know what the plans are for me and you with the flat?

******

As soon as Hero left last night the tears fell from me like a water fall he was so cold he never kissed me or looked at me and more than anything I wanted to touch him and for him to hold me, he was so rough with me too and selfish even though my desire took over in the end and my orgasm raced through me he kept pushing me to a limit before stopping not letting me get the pleasure he normally demands I get.