amnesia | d.m.

chapter 51

song: war of hearts
ruelle

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"From what you've told me, has it ever crossed your mind that your mother is still sorry to this day? That even though you've succeeded in fighting the darkness, she doesn't forgive herself for what she did to you? Maybe that's why she isn't revealing herself. She's hiding...from you."

I shot up in bed with a choked cry and panicked breaths. Draco instantly pushed his covers off, startled by my cries. I heard him utter my name with surprise and then suddenly I was burying my face in his chest while he consoled me. I shook uncontrollably biting down hard as the tears slid down my face, one after the other. Draco shushed me and rubbed my shoulder, gently rocking us back and forth. He was talking to me but I couldn't hear him...at least not until my breathing returned to normal a handful of minutes later.

"You're okay..." I heard him whisper in my hair while he placed soft kisses. I shut my eyes, feeling another stray tear fall and hit his hand. The cries stopped but I remained hiccuping in his arms, still shivering a little from the chilling dream. "I thought they stopped." he whispered.

"N-no." I hiccuped. "It wasn't him. I saw Ambretta...covered in blood. But she was talking to me as if...it was normal." I felt Draco stiffen his grip on my arms for a moment with surprise. "I think I know who killed her and her mother." I added once more. Draco didn't reply. He simply waited on answer, continuing to rub comforting circles on my arm. "Fenrir Greyback. He was in my dream."

"How is that possible?" Draco mumbled. "How do you know for sure—"

"I don't know!" I stammered through the tears. "All I know...is that everyone who gets close to me, dies." I whispered darkly. I pulled away from his grasp and looked him in the eye in the darkness of the night. "For all I know, you could be next or—or Andromeda."

"Hold on," Draco cut in, "you can't possibly be blaming yourself for the deaths of your loved ones. Sphinx died because of her blood, Diggory died not remembering you, your grandparents were targets...to which we don't know the reasons for."

I flinched at the way Draco mentioned Cedric dying without remembering who I was. It still pained me, it still hurt that I saw him that night and could barely remember how much he meant to me as well.

"Why is it always me though?" I whispered. "It should be me who's dead, not them."

"No." Draco snapped through gritted teeth. "Never utter those words ever again."

"You know sometimes I wonder," I chuckled humorlessly, "how much more pain and darkness I can endure before I give up. Before I just..."

"Don't you fucking dare." came his venomous voice. He pulled me onto his lap, forcing me to gaze at him in the midnight moonlight. "Listen to me, Terra Z. You're the best thing that happened to me, and thinking about the rest of my lifetime without you is something I just simply cannot endure." I moved my head away, frowning and not meeting his eyes but he pulled me back. "I'm never letting you go." he whispered. "You're my witch. I won't let you go—" his voice cracked and I glanced up to meet his eyes again. He looked hurt, an expression similar to the one he had up on the Astronomy Tower.

"Did you know you're my reason for breathing?" asked Draco. His eyes were welling up. That was the first time I had seen him break this way since the night of Dumbledore's death. "Did you know that I stood atop the Astronomy Tower one night, contemplating my existence. Did you know I almost stepped off until I thought of a reason why I shouldn't?" I couldn't describe the pain in his voice and the shock I was feeling. I cupped his face and shook my head with disbelief. "It was you, Terra." he finished. "You're my reason."