amnesia | d.m.

chapter 37

song: she used to be mine
by: sara bareilles

-ok i thought that edit was cool. creds to whoever made that-

..........

Terra

The skies were clear today for some odd reason. For once, the weather near Hogwarts wasn't so dark and gloomy. That's why Ambretta and I took our spots in the courtyard to study for our Charms exam. We were flipping through our notes and past essays that Flitwick had assigned. My eyes were growing heavy with tiredness. Another turn of the page and I swore, I was going to knock-out right there.

"Okay, so I was looking at the textbook and you can see on page three hundred and seventy-three..." I drowned out Ambretta's voice as I casually rested my head in her lap, my eyes slowly fluttering closed. The sessions with Snape and Harry had lessened, though last night's was pretty lengthy. My mind felt drained of brain power and all I wanted to do was rest.

I had finally begun to perform better than before. My slip-ups weren't as frequent anymore and when they did occur, it was usually the anger or the darkened eyes. No one was aware of my condition except for the trio, of course, Dumbledore, Snape, and Ambretta. I filled her in on everything since I couldn't really handle hiding a single piece of information from her anymore. She was upset, but she always made regular visits when I was recovering along with the 5 weeks I had been stuck, practically on house arrest.

Nothing angered her more when I revealed what Draco had done. She lost all her respect for the blue-eyed boy and showed absolutely no remorse when I told her about the fight that had ensued between he and Harry in the bathroom.

She told me he deserved it. After all, he was the one who threw a curse at Harry first and Harry was only defending himself from the Cruciatus Curse that Draco was about to throw. I remembered it with my own ears. That was the first time ever I saw Ambretta take Harry's side and agree with Ginny Weasley who had participated in an argument with Pansy Parkinson. I merely stood in the back and watched the events unfold that day.

I didn't know what to think of Draco anymore. All I knew, was that he was right all along. Maybe we weren't meant to be because every time we got close, I always ended up hurt. He was the one who always left and I was the one who always chased after him. I didn't understand him anymore and I didn't want to betray my friends, my true friends. If Draco really is a Death Eater, which many of the signs pointed to that he is, I didn't want to stick around and face the betrayal, the pain. I didn't want to be with him, just so we could be on opposing sides. So I did what I always did best, I distanced myself just the way he did it to me the whole first term. I had to forget him.

It appeared the tables had turned though since I didn't find Draco avoiding me anymore. Far from it, really. He was everywhere. In the halls, in the common room, on the bridge where I stood to collect my thoughts. It's as if he was watching over me, following me. But Ambretta called it stalking. I didn't care and I didn't even give him the sense that I cared. Did I love him? I didn't know anymore. I didn't know anything except for the fact that I was no longer the same person who woke up on that train. Dark magic coursed through me. If anything, it was I who was the dangerous one.

Ever since I discovered the darkness within myself, I had grown a new sense of self-confidence. The insecurities lessened, I wore my hair down more, I was bolder, my responses were more sharp, and I found myself getting along well with my Quidditch team, in and off the pitch. Though I was strictly instructed that I wasn't allowed to play anymore, due to my sensitive health, many Slytherin boys befriended me in my classes. Even Melinda Bobbin walked with me in the corridors of Hogwarts, occasionally talking about practice or the next game.