Growing Up

Shaken Just Not Stirred

It was a beautiful Friday when I had gotten a text from Johnny to meet him for some frozen yogurt at the Golden Spoon®. I was still tired from last night, but he sounded so serious. The one free day off from school till graduation and I had to spend it not playing Assassins Creed Brotherhood®. I sat in front of the place in one of their garden chairs, while he was wherever.  My hair was like a hot red mop, stuffed into a clumsy bun. I wore a pair of light blue faded jeans with a purple stripped, short sleeve crew-neck. It was a perfect outfit for a perfect Spring day. I had been singing my favorite song of the week “Hear My Cry”, when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. Johnny had come out of the parlor with my favorite flavor of frozen yogurt. His face was drawn so seriously as dark circles lined his eyes. I got that feeling that he knew, matter of factly I knew he knew.

A kiss as light as a feather was placed upon my forehead, followed with a heavy sigh, “Milly.” I petted his head and smiled wearily. ‘So the time has come for me to tell my story, to get this pain off my chest. I hope he doesn’t think I’m crazy.’

“How long have you known?” he looked up solemnly and nodded. Silence. I took a spoonful of my yogurt and began my tale. “What did he tell you? So I can fill in whatever pieces he might have missed considering he was out for most of it.” I felt a surge of heat spread through my body like the Sahara, just from one touch.

“All he said was ‘Milly and I have a complicated past. I owe her my life even still till this day. I want you to know the truth, but that is something she would have to tell you for herself.’ So I guess I got curious and anxious. I was worried that maybe you two had a love child or something like that.” I laughed; this wasn’t TV where you find stuff out like all crazy like that.

“Okay so it was about ten years ago, we were seven at the time and Billy’s mother had gone to Chicago, she had been in it with the mob since Billy was born. She was the head guy’s main wifey, but she couldn’t be with him until she was not with their father. Billy had found out she was with him and threatened to call the cops, but Melinda had acted quickly and drugged him. He had managed to run out while she was on the phone telling the two guys, Paulie and Rico, to pick him up. I’m sure he at least told you that was when his parents were in the middle of a divorce, and their father was out on business.”

He nodded slowly while I took a few more spoonfuls, “Ya he got that far. Also that was the night you happened to be upset and ran out of your house to downtown. That same year George had run away.” I smiled, reliving that cool air brushing across my face. The cement of the town was solemn and alone. I was free, that evening belonged to me.

“Ya okay good, he got you through the longest part. He made my job that much easier. So Billy knew all about the MOB and was going to tell the cops but mommy dearest intervened. So when I first saw him, he was slumped in a corner in the alleyway. I was trying desperately to get him up when I decided to run and find help when I heard these two guys talking about finding a kid. They kept asking people if they’ve seen a kid with dark black hair and a green v-neck. I ran to him, trying to pick this guy up, it sucked cuse I was only 4’ 11” at the time. By the time I got him up the guys found us, and charged forward. I put myself in the way and placed my hands to defend him.

Iremember the first guy said, ‘Ay Pualie, she knows sumthin’, we gotta kill her too.’ the other dude smiled and nodded along. Quite honestly I didn’t know anything about him, but I knew he needed my help.  I yelled at him, ‘Leave him alone! You can shoot me, I don’t care, but I’m pretty damn sure this boy didn’t do a thing to you. So go right on ahead! Shoot me!’ The next thing you know there was a gun and I was looking at the ever fading sun, it was a crimson color that evening, the color of blood. I could hear people murmuring over me but things faded out. I woke up in a hospital bed with this boy next to me asleep holding my hand. I looked out the window and lavender filled the sky, and that day he pledged his undying devotion to me. They found the guys and arrested them, but they wouldn’t give up their secrets.” Johnny’s face was like stone, cold still and motionless. His eyes seemed to be piercing something deep within in my soul. “So I risked my life for a boy I never met before, my mind wasn’t clear but my body reacted before I could. I couldn’t let him die.” He kissed me, I felt a tingly sensation run through every inch of my body.

I was in love, this love wasn’t one sided either. “So no kidding, you really risked your life for that guy. Damn I’m dating a freakin’ hero. You never cease to amaze me.” He leaned back in the chair and put his hands behind his head with a smile. I sat eating the rest of my yogurt when he winked, I choked on my yogurt.

“Ya, I just didn’t want anyone finding out or there’d be a bounty on my head. I guess I was scared, any seven year old would be. So I kept it a secret and from that day on he just was there, the only guy in my life, because that same year George left.” When I had finished he got up and threw our cups away. I stood looking at the sky; some reason the color of the sky always reflected every emotion I could conjure. The sky was a light blue, free no clouds blocking the suns light.  I felt lighter like a pain had been lifted from my shoulders. Billy and I were both free finally able to be happy.

We both could finally be happy to love whoever we felt the need to love.

We walked hand in hand to his car when he stopped, “Milly do you ever get that feeling, deep inside, that it hurts for some reason-idk how to explain it to you. But Milly I want you so bad.” I squeezed his hand a little tighter, my stomach was doing back flips and my heart racing at the speed of light. I felt it too, I always got that feeling, and I finally understood why my body would heat up like that.

“Okay so what are we going to do, how can I fix that?” I leaned against his car, his body hovering effortlessly with his two arms pushed against it. He leaned in for a kiss, our lips we like to separate magnets at first, we couldn’t find the right frequency. I was on my tiptoes, returning the favor. His hands scaled my back while my arms were wrapped around his neck. ‘Ba-bum ba-bum my heart beat louder and louder in my ears. His hands pushed me closer to his body, I was completely in his control.

“Milly I want to do things-things I know we shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. Every time I get closet to you, my body gets all electrified and I want to—” he released me from his grip and slammed his fist into his car. I looked into his coffee eyes, I placed my hand near his face but drew back, I didn’t know how to help him.

“Johnny.” I whispered his name in hopes it would do something, I had to calm him down; it broke my heart to see him in so much pain. I grabbed his face between both of my hands and stared him in the eyes. “I absolutely adore you, so whatever the game I’m down to play. I don’t want to see you hurting.”

                “I don’t want to hurt you, or be that guy you think you love who ends up doing you wrong. Milly I want to be your everything.” I caught my breath and remembered something my mom used to tell me, when I had a crush or thought someone was cute.

“My mom used to tell me:  ‘If he can make your heart beat fast and slow at the same time; if he takes your breath away with one touch; if he can may you feel like you’re the only one out of thousands; if he can love you for you even in your sweats—then maybe he is the one that is right for you.’ So I mean you fit that description.” Johnny smiled at me, it became as bright as the sun when I smiled back. He was my everything, and I’d give my all to keep that smile on his face.

                “Well then I hope your mother approves of me, because there is no way I’d give you up.” He wrapped his arm around me.  We talked for hours about our future, his family approved of me no matter what we decided to do. I could have never asked for a better moment, its like whatever we did together there was no way the bad couldn’t be transformed into good. The sun set was perfect, the air was crisp and the sky splashed with different hues of reds purples and yellows. My hear felt all those colors: love, passion, and warmth.