Growing Up

School: Never Ending Complications

  School was different; I was by myself I mean yeah I had friends like Stacy, Jennifer, and Carlos, but Billy wasn’t there. On top of all that I had a physics test to prepare for since senior work day had been moved. Yes, a ray of lemon drop haired hope.  She was a blonde haired blue eyed beauty, but she was such a nerd. No one at school knew she existed, but I did. I always noticed the little things in life. She could keep my mind off of everything. Cami was there, she has been my neighbor since like 17 years. And, luckily she was also my physics partner.

“So Cami, you ready for the big test?” I didn’t really care much for her, but she was good conversation. She kept me preoccupied and busy with her chatter that I pretended to listen to. With her lying was easy. While we were walking down the open view hallway I saw Johnny playing catch with a few guys from the team.  He waved at me after catching the ball, I nodded my head and I bit my lip, but remaining at her side.

            “Uhhh, yea sure I guess. Uhhh, Milly can I ask you something?” She was the shyest person you could have ever met. The walk was mostly awkward for her, I said hey to all the “cool” kids; she kinda turned invisible when I was talking to them. I didn’t seem to realize that she was still there I did feel bad. I mean its hard to try to be noticed especially if people didn’t know you existed and its now senior year.

“Cami ask me at lunch okay, I’m sorry about all this. At lunch?” We had lunch before the pre-quiz so I had time to study and answer her question.  She nodded and her blonde straight locks shimmered in the sun.

            Classes ran by so quickly I forgot about everything, people were talking to me but I couldn’t hear them. It was almost as if I was locked in a soundproof glass and all I could do was watch. The loud ring of the lunch bell pulled me through.

            As soon as we got our lunch, Johnny had to come over. Johnny was the star quarterback and captain of our schools football team. “Hey Milly, long time no see.” I was lost for a second but I wasn’t single. I mean I just saw the guy this morning jogging by my house.  How could one look and a hello change the course of one persons heart? OR was it because he’s always had the other piece of your heart?

            “Yeah, I guess your right. Now, Cami what were you going to ask me before?” I wasn’t one of those little girls who fell head over heels for Johnny. Was I? I wanted to be with him more than anything, I wanted to grab his face and bring his lips to mine. ‘NO!’

Even though he was gorgeous beyond like everything, even hotter than Billy I refused to fall for him-again. I turned away from him, his face crinkled and he stood there knee on the bench next to me waiting. ‘Mills he’s so close to you, touch him. Let him touch you. Play it off? Be cool? Breathe, ya that will work just breathe.’

            “Oh, yea, right my question.” She started to turn red, I almost laughed, but then I looked at her and she was starting to cry. “Ummm, well the prom thing is coming up and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind if I could go with Billy?” She was twiddling her fingers, she looked up with her big blue eyes. I was shocked and it hurt a little.

‘Freedom ring, let freedom ring?’ Maybe this was the sign, that one sign that I needed, to make believe that things could happen even in the worst parts of your life.

            “Well, I uhhh, wow. I-I sure I guess I'll ask him.” I smiled to cover up the tears. She hugged me and it felt weird to just give your boyfriend to your neighbor. She ran off to her little nerd friends and left me there stunned.

Then here goes Johnny for the wounded fawn, “So I see you don’t have a date to senior prom.” His face was so close to mine I could smell his spearmint gum, why was my body heating up; why was I reacting like this? I felt the blood rush to my face, my chest burned and my lips quivered, wanting to touch his ever so slightly. ‘Keep it together! He is just a boy!’

“Well I guess I don’t, well not anymore I mean I did have a date but now I don’t.” how could one person get tricked out of their bf from a shy sneaky son of a—. I could kill her.

“Maybe you would want to go with me to the prom, I mean if Billy doesn’t mind you go going with me if he is going with Cami.” I’m sure I looked shocked, I didn’t just hear him say that. I was not going to say yes I had to play it cool. Johnny was so cute when he couldn’t think of the right words to say, whether it was real or not.

I put my finger on his lip, “I'll think about it. Give me till next week okay. Now it’s time for class. Bye Johnny see you later” I waved my hand and swayed off to physics. When I got to the hallway I let out a deep breath.

            First bell rang and Cami skipped off with her blonde hair swaying behind her in the soft spring breeze-that bitch. What the hell?

I made it to class just before the teacher walked in-on time, but damn, I felt like punching her face in but I couldn’t. She was so innocent and I hated her for it. 

‘I bet those were fake ass tears, dammit. I fell for it and now I- I just wanted to go home wherever that was’

Before the pre-test, Mr.Ottendoten started giving us our pre-tests he began telling us how he was looking forward to seeing our parents for the end of the year senior road trip; it finally clicked. With the millions of things going on in my head, one thing was certain, I didn’t have any family and I blanked.

I was so excited about going to the prom with Johnny- but then there is meeting the parents. Your mom is supposed to buy the dress, your dad supposed to buy the shotgun and now what, I had no one. It got me thinking, I didn’t have all of this, the walls felt like they were caving in. My breathing got shallow and everything went dark. No sounds other than a loud “Crash” I was on the floor and the chair landed across from me under the table. It was kind of like a relapse sort of thing. Cami screamed as if it were a horror movie.

            I kinda just laid there; the cool ground was the only thing that I could feel. Next thing you know I was being transported to the nurse’s office. I heard so many voices, but for some reason I didn’t want to wake up yet. I had time to figure things out.