Growing Up

Kiss Me..Cheaters Secrets

Fernando came around about eight o'clock. He'd overdone his cologne, and slicked his hair back to where there was no way unless soaked, to get it loose. I stood at the doorway, he had the goofiest grin. "Well let me get my bag." So it started the most interesting night so far. We walked for a while downtown, waiting till it was time for our movie to begin.

"So its a beautiful night." The squeak in his voice was going to drive me off the wall. He wanted to ask something he was going to have to ask.

"Fernando, what do you want?" There was the ice in my voice, it wasn't my fault that I was annoyed and not with Johnny. My brother was clearly not home, but he had a family to go to. "I'm not trying to sound mean, but you have a question so just ask."

I could see the shock woke him up, he was finally aware of the situation. I heard it, the deep sophistication in his voice, it was almost seducing. "Well honestly, I'm surprised you suggested something like this. Clearly your boy-toy wasn't too pleased." Even with his voice, there was a rawness. 

A harsh and truthful reality spread over, I was going to end up sitting next to a very attractive young male in the darkness of a theater. I hadn't realized the seriousness of it all, "Fernando, please no funny business." I was breathing hard already, too ashamed to see past my feelings. He was tall broad shoulders, amazing voice and the most amazing thick curls. His natural beauty was too hard to explain, the sheer power of his shoulders. 

"Your wish is my command." We walked into the theater and came out as if nothing had happened. Nothing happened, my temptations were stripped away with each bit of comedy and laughter. 

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Fernando's POV

Milly you are such a stupid girl. I am in love with you. I'd don anything to make you smile. I don't dress up for just anyone, you're special to me. Why you? It could have been any other girl, but when you came in with beautiful red wavy hair, I had to have you. I'm holding your hand, you can tell I'm nervous. 

The wind was quiet and soothing, I was hoping maybe she'd be cold so I could give her my jacket. I wanted her to love me. I want her to love me. I want her. She is the light when the world is dark. "Fernando, you okay." Those brialliant eyes, I wanted to kiss her and explain my reasoning. 

"Yes."

"Okay." I could have said just a lot on my mind and we could have had a  conversation.

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"So the night is still young, how about bowling?" I was shocked at his lightened mood. I turned to him, my curls fell a little to the side tickling my face.

"Sure, just so I can kick your butt." He smiled and took my hand. It was warm, a little clamy and big. If I had locked fingers situations would have risen, that at that point so late in the year I just couldn't handle. 

Erratica Bowl

We all shared one commonality at the bowling alley, the desire to have fun, even the biggest of enemies would eventually change their minds. "Let's do this!" we grabbed our shoes and walked down to lane seven. I programed the game, while he bought himself socks. 

'Milly, get a hold of yourself. He is Fernando, not Johnny. Why on earth would there be anything between us.' I felt a warm hand squeeze my shoulder. I looked up into melting pools of hersheys'.

"I'm making you uncomfortable?" I didn't answer, the balls rolled in. I grabbed the blue eight ball and rolled. STRIKE. 

We sat in silence, letting the sounds of crashing pins and screams of victories flood over. It wasn't long before we'd relaxed and spoke few words towards each other. His jet black curls caressed his neck in ways my fingers wished they could. After our fourth game, we gave up. 2-2. 

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"I let you win the last one." I smiled holding my sandals in the hand that wanted to hold onto his. He bumped me. I gripped my sandals tighter, hoping to remind myself I did have a boyfriend.

"Yes sure of course, just like you gutterballed on purpose." He shoved his awaiting hand in his pocket, a noble resist. What would attract me to an insensitive bonehead like him. He was a total meat head, but was brilliant and amazing. Caring, charming, loving, kind, respectful, a bully, pretentious, sly and just him. 

"Like I said the ball was still greasy." Why him, the thoughts raced through my mind when brash and apprehensive lips reached mine. I felt the warmth of his mouth pushed against my own. His deep locks entangled in mine, his hands pulled my body in closer. I couldn't pull out, but hopelessly reach in. I locked my fingers around his neck. Why him?

He let me go and stood, wide eyed and scared. "I didn't mean to." He dropped my hand, still I couldn't help but see the joy in his eyes that I had kissed him back. I had enjoyed it. 

"Uhhhhh--uhhh" Nothing just minutes ago we had been laughing and talking. Now it was an awkward creeping silence. The air was eating at me, guiltily eating away. I was a cheater who wasn't drunk, just happy. 

"Milly we didn't kiss okay...it never happened." He wanted to put his arms around me to tell me everything would be okay, but deep down I was a cheater and a lire. "Milly." I leaned in and kissed him, no control, just an empty lust. I had wanted Johnny to be ready for me, but he wanted to wait. I wanted to wait. 'Milly stop this insanity. Go Home!!!!'

I was waiting for Johnny, but what was there to wait for. He loved me--his family was amazing, and we were great together. I wanted something more. Something Fernando would give me.

I nodded and walked to the front door, he drove off into the unfaithful night. No one was home except me and a very guilty conscious.

It was nice, soft, passionate, random, and loving. I ran my finger over my lips trying to remember the taste and smell of his cool breath. I wanted to replay every cheating detail. It was a secret I had to keep.