ethereal (demi lovato)

93

Time slows down in moments of chaos, and in the split second that I stood still in the hallway, my heart thumped in my chest and my mind was blank. My life slowed down and I watched my eldest daughter yell as she sat on my youngest daughters bed. Her scream's finally made it into my head and I moved again.

I couldnt remember what happened, I remember the crying, the screaming and the sounds of the paramedics shoes in my house. I remember my daughters arms around my hips and her face in my side. I remember the panic in my fiances voice when I called him.

The sounds of her heart monitor beeping echoed in my ears, even though she wasn't in the room. After being rushed to the hospital and stabilized, thank god, they asked me about her, asked me what had been going on. I explained everything I could remember at that moment, curled up against my almost crying man and my other daughter passed out from crying on my lap.

I told them about the symptoms that the doctor I visited rejected and they took notes, telling us that they would take some tests and scans to see if there was anything going on. Nick and I sat in silence, playing with each others hands as Sofia slept from pure exhaustion.

My mind was scattered and in pieces all around the room, the echoing in my head was making my heart beat thump inside my head. Nick had broken down, cried with my other daughter and begged to god for him to save her. I had never seen him like that. I had never seen anyone this distressed and it broke my head, watching two of the three loves of my life sobbing together.

Now that silence filled the small, stuffy hospital room, I stroked my fingers through Sofia's hair and linked my fingers with my fiance, the two of us sitting together, drowning in our thoughts.

Nick sniffled, turning his head and moving his hand to put it onto of mine on Sofia's head, putting his lips to my cheek. A tear fell from his eye and his stood his head, leaning his head against me. I reached up, dropping his hand and stroked his cheek with my hand.

"She's going to be okay, baby, she will. Shes a strong little girl." The image of the tiny three year old dressed in a duck hospital gown, laying with all these wires and tubes connected to her. I could hear her voice in my head, almost expected as I watched her sleep earlier for her to pop up and let out her contagious giggle.

"What if she isnt? Demi, shit, what if she isnt?" He whispered out, another tear falling. I shook my head, grabbing at his face and looking into his eyes, the big eyes that are usually filled with so much pride and happiness, but now, are filled with sorrow and sadness.

"She will be, she fucking will be." I replied, kissing his cheek and holding the back of his head, staring into those eyes with emotion. I started to say something else, but the door clicked open and her big toddler hospital bed was pushed into its place against the wall.

My heart jumped from my heart as the doctored nodded at the nurses before turning to us. I put Sofia's head down on the chair and then stood up, scrambling up next to Nick. I grabbed onto his hands and looked at the doctor, awaiting the answer we had been waiting for.

"Is she okay?" We both asked in panic. The doctor looked down at her chart and then back at us.

"We took some scans and, unfortunately, her body lit up like a christmas tree." My mind stopped and the tightness Nick had on my hand, dropped.

"There is cancer in her lungs as well as in her brain, a brain tumor that has been there for at least a year, growing and growing. The ones in her lungs have just started to develop and can be killed off, but the one in her brain is far too large, we will need to operate. Immediately.

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haha well hi. i hate myself. its late. im tired. i have school. im stressed and im pretty sure i might relaspe. laters.