An Attack Helicopter Brought us Together

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Penelope POV

"Ugh," Beverly complains, lounging on a balcony of the White House with me and Suga, "It's so sad, isn't it?"

"Is what sad?" I ask curiously, snuggling Suga, enjoying the sunbath. We'd been married the previous day, along with Emily and Junk, in a surprisingly uneventful but flamboyant ceremony, "How can anything be sad? Our world is perfect!"

"It is," Suga agrees and pulls me in closer.

"But it's not fair," Beverly whines, "I don't rule a country..."

"Yeah, but Ember's not gotten with a BTS member," I inform her, "And she doesn't complain. And frankly, that seems like the best thing - not this whole country-ruling business! That just seems hard. If you ask me, Ember got the burnt end of the stick, not you - you and me, we've got the best deal..." I trail off, kissing Suga.

"I still wanna do it," Beverly huffs, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Well, where'd you wanna rule?" I ask, barely paying attention, thinking only of Suga's warm body next to me.

"Hummmm," she thinks for a moment, "Australia."

"Why Australia?" I ask.

"Dunno," Beverly shrugs, "I just like the idea of waking up every morning and seeing Uluru and having kangaroos at my window."

"You do realise most Austrlains don't wake up with kangaroos anywhere near their houses," Suga informs her, "And Uluru is in the middle of the desert, where basically no one lives."

"Still," Beverly shrugs again, "I just wanna."

"Maybe go talk to Emily about it..." I murmur, giving way to a warmth-induced dream-state, "She flies the helicopter..."

I'm awoken some time later by the crashing of the balcony door. Suga and I jerk awake, still entangled and half-naked.

"HEYYY!" Emily flounces out, her new crown catching the sun's rays and blinding us, "Beverly's gonna go rule AUSTRALIA! C'mon, let's go, it'll be fun!!!"

She flounces away again, unaware that she even walked in on anything. Did she say fun!? Oh goodie! I love fun. I haul myself and Suga up and we shove ourselves into our crumpled, discarded clothes. We race through the hallways and down the stairs and up the stairs and round corners and through vast rooms until we get to the helicopter launch pad. It glints brightly in the sunshine, blades already whirring, ready to go. We clamber aboard just as it takes off.

We zoom across the Pacific, watching the rippling turquoise waters pass below. We even saw a pod of dolphins, leaping and spinning and squeaking. We were all sorely tempted to land as we passed over Hawaii's soft sandy beaches and green palm trees, but Beverly almost threw a tantrum so we didn't.

"We'll stop over on the way back, though, right?" I beg Emily.

"Maybe..." Emily replies, maneuvering the attack helicopter through a flock of albatross, "But we also need to go back to the White House so we can actually get some ruling done. Maybe when we're in need of another holiday?" I nod sadly and Suga holds me close.

A few hours later, we landed in Canberra. No kangaroos anywhere, which is sorta disappointing, but at the same time, it's exactly what Suga said. Beverly is kinda looking constipated with excitement.

"So, where does Scotty Bunny live?" she asks. I guess Scotty Bunny is another name for ScoMo...?

"You're taking over a country and you didn't check where the leader lives?" Ember raises an eyebrow, "Well, he lives in Kirribilli house and, lucky for you, I checked that, because that means we just landed in his backyard and not some other random person's."

"Wait actually?" Beverly looks amazed, "Wow, well done. I wouldn't even know how to start looking for that sorta info, which is weird, considering my amazing IQ."

I shuffle awkwardly... Would it be best to tell her that her IQ is terrible? No, because I want her to be HAPPY like ME. And telling her that would make her UNhappy.

"Is that him?" Tae points out the window at a man leaning over a rabbit hutch.

"OH MY GOSH YES!" Beverly squeals, and charges out of the helicopter.

"Wait, Beverly, we don't even have-" the door slams in Emily's face, "... a plan. C'mon, guys. Let's go rescue her from herself."

We all tramp out of the attack helicopter, although not without grabbing some assault rifles. Emily grabs her camera and a mic and some other filing equipment, which is sorta weird. We rush over to where Scotty Bunny is standing by his kid's rabbit hutch, looking alarmed.

"Uh... hey... kids..." he stammers, 'Y'know, you're not supposed to land here... and uh... this is private property. Uh... what do you want...?"

"IMA BE PRIME MINISTER OF AUSTRALIA!" Beverly announces. We all pull out our assault rifles and he stiffens.

"Uh... sorry kids, but this is a democracy..." ScoMo stutters, "It doesn't work like that... I can't just make you prime minister in my place... also, under Australian law you're not allowed to own firearms unless you have a valid permit, and are-"

"SCREW THAT!" Beverly yells, "JUST... MAKE ME PRIME MINISTER!!!"

"As I said I-" he cuts himself off as I stick my rifle into his ribs.

"OBEY," I inform him, giving him my evil big-eyed puppy look. I feel very satisfied. He nods miserably.

Beverly starts up again "Righto then, Scotty-"

"Okay, so," Emily cuts across her, "You're gonna make Beverly here prime minister, then we're gonna kill you. Got it?" he nods even more miserably, "Good. But first, kindly do your wombat dance for us."

"My... my what?"

"The wombat dance," Emily grins, angling the camera at him, "You're on, bud. Live-streaming. Go. Wombat dance."

I withdraw my rifle as the music begins to play and, humiliated, Scotty Bunny does the wombat dance for us, spinning slowly in circles and moving his hands like a disoriented toddler. He does it several times, and I try and learn it (out of the camera shot). I notice the number of people watching the livestream has reached about fifteen million - that's a lot.

Then Emily tells him, "STOP!" she goes and stands in front of the camera and announces, "That was dear ol' Scotty's last message for y'all, before he sadly passes away with anal cancer. I would now like to introduce Australia's new prime minister: Beverly!"

She drags Beverly into the shot, and Beverly grins, "Hey, guys, it's super sad that ScoMo's passed away, but hey, ima be a great prime minister. I'll come back and rule y'all soon - I've gotta go with my friends the Queen of England and the President of the USA and the Pharaohess of Egypt and BTS back to the USA, but I'll see y'all soon," she blows a kiss at the camera, "Love y'all."

Emily cuts the recording, then we all open fire on Scotty Bunny before he can even scream, "Wait, lemme say bye to my kids-"

We bury him underneath the rabbit hutch so no one will find him.

"So, what're we gonna do with these rabbits," Serena asks, pointing her rifle at them, "They're fat... good eating?"

"EW NO, SERENA!" I throw myself in front of the rabbits, "NO!"

They're way too cute to eat! How could Serena even consider eating them!?

"I'll adopt them!" Beverly scoops the rabbits up in her arms and pets their silky ears.

"But my cats might eat them..." Ember shuffles her feet and looks down at Maple and Blossom winding themselves around her ankles.

"I'll keep them safe," Beverly declares as we clamber back onto the attack helicopter and lift off, back to the White House, "And y'know what, they're gonna be Australia's new official national animal, and I'll redesign the Australian coat of arms and put RABBITS on it."

"CUTE IDEA!!" I bounce around, dreaming of a rabbit version of Ember's cat empire.