An Attack Helicopter Brought us Together

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Serena POV

We touch down in the middle of the crowd, who're all glaring at our attack helicopter, as if it's taking up their space - I'm sorry, peeps, you're taking up our landing space! Also, why'd they put a roof in our way? And a spire-y thing. Are they trying to impale us? SO RUDE - IMA PUNCH THEIR PUNY BLOBFISH NOSES IN SO HARD THEY COME OUT THEIR ARSES.

I pile out after Penelope, Beverly, Ember and Emily, wearing my beautiful slinky dress Samuel. People mutter furtively - who are these beautiful ladies!?

Penelope blows everyone a kiss and crys, "Hey guys, we're here for the PARTYYYYY!!!"

"Actually..." the gold panel-coated priest stammers, "We're here to celebrate today the union of two people - Yuzu Hanyu and Kim Jon Un Jr. Jr."

Everyone claps. Oi, so rude, ignoring us but clapping a gay selfish skater and a gay dictator's grandson - not that I've got anything against gays, it's just a fact. I turn back to the helicopter to get my assault rifle, but Ember gives me 'the look' which means 'don't do it'. Ugh.

"So... where's the cake?" Emily starts drooling, "THIS IS A CELEBRATION!"

"And a celebration without a cake is just a gathering," Beverly adds.

"We're trying," the priest coughs, "To have a tame, christian wedding."

"Ohhh," I nod in understanding, "Okay. So. Ah 1, ah 2, ah 1, 2, 3, 4... HALLELU-JAH! HALLELU--JAH! HA-LLE-LU-JAH! HA-LLE-LU-U-UJAH! HALLELU-JAH!"

Emily and Beverly join in... Penelope and Ember look like they want to, but are looking nervously at the crowd. I notice everyone glaring at us. What's wrong? We're helping with the chriatian-ness.

"WHY AREN'T YOU SINGING!?" I roar at the crowd, incapable of grasping what must be going through their puny brains, "THIS IS A CHRISTIAN WEDDING! AND WE WERE SINGING A CHRISTIAN SONG! WOULD YOU RATHER WE SANG A KPOP SONG...!?"

"Yass," Emily grins, "You want some kpop instead!?"

"I'm sorry," a big burly man comes over, "But I'm going to have to ask you to leave the building-"

"WHAT!?" Beverly sobs, "BUT WE BROUGHT THESE TWO TOGETHER AND PENELOPE HERE IS YUZU'S EX AND I'M HUNGRY CAUSE I'M PREGNANT AND I DON'T WANNA MISS THE HORS D'OEUVRES!!!"

Everyone stares at Beverly in amazement.

"SOMEONE HURRY UP AND GET HER SOMETHING TO EAT!" I shriek at the sexy security guard, "AND GIMME A VODKA!"

"I'm... sorry," the priest stammers, "but we don't keep alcohol on these holy grounds... would you prefer some holy water before you go on your way?"

"WHAT!?" I shriek and feel another asthma attack coming.

"What's going on?" KJU Jr. Jr.'s voice echoes as he strides over to the priest with Yuzu floating along beside him, "Who's doing what now?"

"These... these... children-" the priest points a bony finger at us and the crowd parts, "are crashing your wedding."

"Oh," he frowns at us, "It's you guys. Wassup?"

"WASSUP IS THAT THIS PRIEST-TOAD IS TRYING TO GET US EVICTED," I yell.

"Oh, that's no good," KJU turns to the priest, wagging a finger, "They're great match-makers - they introduced us to each other. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for them!"

"Oh. Alright," the priest shrugs, turning to us, "You can stay, so long as you behave nicely and are good samaritans."

"What's a samaritan?" Beverly whispers to Ember, "It sounds like some kind of monkey."