Marrying Agustina Del Mundo (Unedited)

Chapter 34

(I did not write the rest of this in Agustina's P.O.V)

David

It hurts for me because we haven't been home to the Philippines yet. Agustina doesn't touch me anymore, she didn't even bother to look at me.

Even though I can't say how I really feel about him, I let her know in other words, I did not fail. I was slow in what I was saying to her. I can't get angry because I know I'm guilty.

It was morning and we were all downstairs, Abby prepared breakfast. My eyes immediately searched for Agustina. Nililingon ako ng mga pinsan niya.

"Si Agustina?" tumingin ako sa kanila dahil malapit sa akin si Abby, siya ang nagawa ko'ng tignan. "Hindi pa ba siya bumababa?" dagdag na tanong ko sa kanya. Napalingon na lalo sa akin sina Joshua.

"Lumabas si Agustina, hindi ko alam kung saan siya pupunta...:" nagtagal ang tingin ko kay Joshua pagkatapos niya ako'ng sagutin. Even if she just says, even if she just says goodbye to me it's okay so I don't worry too much about her especially since we are not in the Philippines. I can't be bothered because we are still in another country until now.

I was silent, they were all quiet too. I just sat in the chair and just waited for Abby to cook. I'm hungry too.

I hardly slept during Agustina and I talked last night, even at our Dinner she was not able to talk to me and look at me.

I'm not used to it.

"Dav--" I didn't finish what Cristal was going to say.

"I don't really admit it, I'm going through something else." I was caught in my face, I was disgusted with myself. "Shouldn't I just say it? I wish I hadn't just shown it all?"

"Tangina naman, oo alam ko'ng mali ako kasi kung ano-ano sinasabi ko sa kanya pero may nararamdaman na ako sa kanya una pala"ng."

"Ano?"

"Uh..."

Bakas na bakas sa kanila ang pagkagulat sa sinabi ko. "Una pala'ng, una pala'ng hindi ko na mapaliwanag 'yung nararamdaman ko..." tinakapn ko ang mata ko. "Ilang araw at buwan ako'ng naging tanga, nainis, natakot, nabaliw dahil sa nararamdaman ko."

I'll admit I'm afraid because Jake they'll judge me just because Agustina is not a woman, that leads to the reasons why I can't fully accept how I feel.

There are so many reasons why I can't accept everything, I can't fully accept and I can't really accept at first. Pero ngayon, kahit natatakot pa din unti-unti ko'ng kinakaya para maramadaman at maintindihan niya.

"Sa totoo lang takot, palagi ako'ng natatakot..." I sighed at how I felt, I didn't want to tell them that they should not know. Especially the beginning of the problem why Agustina and I became married. That's because of my friends who I still think about.

Hanggang ngayon dala-dala ko pa din 'yung mga ginawa kanila sa akin. Hindi ko makakalimutab iyon. Hindi'ng-hindi kasi talaga'ng minahal ko sila. Hindi ako makawala sa nakaraan.

Hindi ako makakapagsaya kung ganito 'yung nnararamdaman ko, hindi ko maialis iyon sa isip ko.

"At talaga namang ang tanga-tanga ko'ng tao, ang tanga ko." Hinawakan ko ng mahigpit ang buhok ko. Gusto ko nanamang umiyak, iiyak nanaman ako. Sobra ako'ng nahihirapan dahil alam ko na kung ano'ng mangyayari. Lalayuan ako ni Agustina.

I was afraid I might lose her now I slowly told her how I felt. Because I feel like he is moving away from me. "I'm so inlove with my wife ..." I said softly. It's exhausting, I can't help but think of what's what again. I become paranoid again. I do not know what to do. "I don't want her to avoid ... I just want him to know how I feel." I looked up, I looked at them all.