Marrying Agustina Del Mundo (Unedited)

Chapter 40

Agustina

I still can't let go of David, I still cling to him and I have no intention of letting go, I will not let go.

"Let's rest." I looked up at him he barely moved. "I want to rest."

"David."

"Let me go, let's rest." I slowly lowered my hands but I still did not leave in front of him.

"I'm sorry, David." I looked into his eyes, I could see that because of the moonlight, the cold breeze was still accompanied.

"It's okay, I said it before" it still wouldn't be enough for me because I did too much.

"Can you ..." I bit my lip while still shedding the tears coming out of my eyes.

"What?" he looked out the window. "I don't know why you are doing this ... you didn't care for me before..." I felt even more pain, I still did not take my eyes off him even though he was not looking at me.

I approached him and leaned my forehead on his chest, I knew I was becoming more and more stupid in what I was doing but I did not know. I can no longer think sensibly.

"I'm scared ..." I was afraid of what might happen then if I chose to love him, I was afraid because someone would get hurt, someone would have a hard time. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng mali sa akin at gusto ko'ng mangyari. Alam ko gusto ko'ng magkaayos kami'ng dalawa, hindi ayos sa akin na ganito din siya. Na nanlalamig na sa akin ngayon.

It's for me because I can not accept this is how he felt about me when I also pushing him away. Ganito pala 'yung pakiramdam ng tinataboy din, ganito 'yung pakiramdam ng gusto'ng-gusto niya'ng lumayo ako sa kanya.

"Magpahinga na tayo, Agustina." muli ko siya'ng niyakap ng bahagya siya'ng lumayo sa akin, umiling ako ng umiling sa dibdib niya. Ayoko siya'ng pakawalan, ayoko'ng lumayo siya sa akin.

"David, I'm sorry" mas hinigpitan ko ang kapit at siksik ko sa dibdib niya. Desidido ako sa ginagawa ko'ng 'to, gusto ko 'to'ng mangyari para sa aming dalawa. Para na din sa ikakatahimik ko.

I will not let him go away from me, he will never go away.

"I'm so sorry ..." I clung to his back and kept my eyes on him, he still wasn't looking at me just outside the window."David," hinawakan ko ang mukha niya at pinilit siya'ng tignan ako, tignan lang niya ako.

I could hear his chest pounding, which I could still hear. I still hope for that.

"Agustina." he grabbed my hand on his face and tried to remove it. "That's enough, don't do this--"

"I want to do this, David" I interrupted what he was going to say. "I want the two of us to be fine."

"Wh--"

"We're not still okay." umiling ako'ng muli sa kanya. "Please..."

"We're okay, how I treated you then I still treat you that until now " hinawakan niya ang pagkabila'ng balikat ko at pinalayo sa katawan niya. "We're still good, even the truth is that we are not really okay then "

"Magpapahinga na ako." tinalikuran niya ako at naglakad papalapit sa kama kung saan nakahiga ang anak niya. Wala na kami'ng iba'ng magagawa magtatabi kami'ng tatlo sa iisa'ng kama.

I did not move from where I was standing, I looked out the window and looked at the galaxy and the moon.

I smiled bitterly, just now I was with David staring at the sky but we were not well. I cried staring into space, I silently sobbed in my cries, I quietly accepted everything no matter how cold I was.