The One For Me | John Taylor

First

"Aren't you tired," John asked, as my head was resting on his bare chest.

"Of what?"

"Of this."

I sat up, holding the bed covers to my chest.
"What do you mean?"

The feeling of anxiousness filled my stomach. Is he implying that he's tired of us? After six months?

"Aren't you tired of having to fly back and forth just to spend time with each other for only one week," he lit a cigarette.

My nerves settled.

I thought about it. I did feel empty whenever John left to go back home and it was dreadful not being with him the entire time. But what could we do about it.

"I guess I am," I fiddled with my fingers. "But what's there to do about it?"

He stayed silent and brought the cancer stick to his mouth. It didn't bother me that John smoked, my parents are smokers so I guess that's why I'm used to it.

"Why don't you move here," he broke the silence.

"W-What," I stuttered, being completely taken aback by his form of resolution.

"Or I could move to New York with you," he threw in there.

I couldn't formulate words.

"Oh c'mon Beth, we'll be together all the time and we wouldn't have to wait anymore to see each other."

He put out his cigarette and held my hands.

"I've been talking about it with Nick and we came to the conclusion that this would be the only way for us to fix this."

I pulled out of his grip.

"This is a big step John," was all I said.

"Well sometimes you need to take those steps," he said a bit harsh.

Over our months of dating, I learned that John can have a temper. Sometimes if something really bothers him or doesn't go his way, he can go from smiling and joyful to annoyed and upset. Luckily for me, I have tough skin and it rolls right off of me and I make sure I give him the same energy back.

"Well I can't afford to do that," I said in the same tone. "All of my shoots and shows are in America."

"Then I'll just move to America," he said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and got out of bed.

"It doesn't sound like you want to," I said while putting my clothes on. "Plus you're career is here. What's going on here? Oh you're making an album in London not in New York."

"This visiting shit can't go on forever," he got out of bed and put his pants on that we're resting on the floor.

"I'm sick of it! I have to wait a month to touch you, kiss you, hug-,"

"I'm sick of it too!" I cut him off.

"I'm tired of watching you leave too, John! Sometime after our phone calls I cry because your not next to me. But moving across countries isn't as easy as it seems."

"Then what are we going to do! How are we going to be together if we're not even fucking physically together! Do you got a better solution?"

He crossed his arms and looked down at me, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know but I do know you sound like a jerk right now."

I left his room and walk downstairs to the kitchen.

"We have to talk about this Beth," he followed behind me.

"I'll talk about it when you stop being-,"

"A jerk," he cut me off. "Yeah well sometimes you have to be to get your point across."

"I know this is important and this will have an impact on our relationship but get it through your head that this needs more time and consideration! I can't pack my bags and leave New York, John!"

"If our relationship isn't worth moving countries for, then what are we doing!"

He threw his hands up. I felt my eyes tearing up but I bit my lip to try to hold my tears in.

It was silent, if a penny dropped it would be the loudest sound in the room. John was resting against the hallway frame, with his arms crossed, thinking.

I sat down at the dining room table, holding back my tears. We've just had our first fight, that's not really an accomplishment to praise.

"Is that how you feel?"
I finally spoke.

John took a deep breath and grabbed his keys and wallet.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be back," he said bluntly and stormed through the front door.

I watched him pull out the drive way and speed off down the road.

I finally let my tears out. I curled up into a ball, hugging my knees, and cried.
-
Light tapping woke me up. I rubbed my tired eyes and saw John hovering over me.
"Hi," he said softly.
"Hi," I sat up. In his hand there was a single rose. I looked at the table and saw a box of pizza and a few VHS tapes.

He handed me the rose and sat down next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his chest, admiring the vibrant red petals.

"I shouldn't have raised my voice at you," he rubbed my arm. "I'm sorry Beth."

"It's okay, I wasn't being too cooperative. Just tell me, is that how you really feel?"

I looked up and him, he shook his head.
"I just said it in the heat of the moment. I don't know why I said it and I feel stupid for saying it."

I nodded, hoping it was true.

"I love you Beth, I'd do anything for you and I would never want to hurt you again."

"Oh you didn't hurt me," I smiled.

"Really, I'm the one who caused those tears," he said about my puffy eyes.

John gave me a sorrowful look and kissed my temple.

"I'm so sorry, I promise I'll never do it again."

"I understand John, stop dwelling on it," I laughed.

We stayed in this position for a few minutes and I finally had my answer.

"I love you John, and while you were gone I've decided-,"

"No, we could keep doing the-,"

"Let me finish," I gave him a playful glare. "I've decided that I want to move in with you, here in London."

A huge smile grew on his face. He picked me up from the couch and twirled me around.

He stopped but kept holding me and I wrapped my legs around him.

"I know this is a big step and a hard decision for you, but we'll figure everything out along the way. I'll be by your side no matter what."

He kissed me passionately, then broke away and our foreheads rested on each other's.
"I love you more than you know."