stormy weather (dreamnotfound)

chapter 3 - reassurance

I woke up to an abrupt knocking at my door. I switched my lamp on, squinting as I threw my covers off in a hurry, dizzily stumbling over to my bedroom door. I unclicked the lock and opened it slowly, rubbing my eyes in the bright hallway light.

"Mum?" I muttered, my voice hoarse from sleep.

"Good morning, George." Niki said softly, pushing past me into my room.

"It's so early," I croaked as I shut the door and walked back to my bed.

She stood by my bed and crossed her arms. "It's 10am."

"What's wrong?" I flopped back onto my bed, burying my face in the pillow.

"You have to visit Windenburg today," she replied, tapping her foot.

"So soon?" I lifted my head up, my hair draping over my eyes.

"Yes," she laughed, dragging the pillow out from under me and whacking me in the head. "Now get up."

"What do I have to say to them?" I sat up on the side of the bed, legs crossed and feet tucked under me.

She sat down beside me and placed her hand on my knee. "You have to meet your future wife, of course."

I rolled my eyes and brought my knees up to my chest, huffing as I hugged them. Niki tried to rub my head but I turned it away and stared at the wall. I heard her sigh and felt her pull her hand back.

"Your father didn't have a choice-"

"He's the king. He is the one that makes the choices." I turned back towards her. "He could've said something, but he didn't." I dropped my legs to the floor and held my hands together in a fist. "Instead he let Schlatt make the decisions for him, just like last time."

"George-"

"Don't. Wilbur let him take it away once and he's gonna do it again if we don't stop him in time." I stood up, planting my feet into the floor once I faced her.

"What does this have to do with the marriage?" she asked, her hands turned upwards on her knees.

"'Cause it's his first step. Once we are 'allies', he's gonna pull some disastrous trick up his sleeve and shit's gonna hit the fan again."

"Language, son."

"I don't give a fuck about the language right now! I'm upset that we are being controlled by a rival kingdom, and honestly I'm terrified that we're gonna lose much more than our land!" my voice started to crack as I yelled, my hands started to sweat as I let my emotions out.

Niki stood up and took a step towards me, a relaxed look on her face.

"Stop it! I don't want your affection right now," I crossed my arms and spun on my heel to face the door.

"I'm sick of this life, mom."

"What?" Her voice broke and I could feel the calm presence she always carried disappear. My arms tensed and I tightened my grip on my arms, and I pinched my forearms as I struggled to find the words I was looking for.

"I want to be normal. I'm stuck in this room day after day, unable to see other people my age because they're not 'worthy' enough. I can't go outside the stupid castle walls and go into the market like everyone else. I can't stare at the fountain without losing myself in my thoughts and I can't pick the sunflowers in the field without feeling like there's nothing else to be here for. I spend all my time training to be the next king when no one ever asked what I want to do. What I want to be and what my purpose is. I just want to run away and hide."

"I'm tired of living here with you."

Niki gasped quietly, and I felt her freeze in her steps. The room went quiet, and her silence was enough to make my chest wretch with immediate guilt. I tightened my jaw and bit my tongue after what I had said. I turned my head to the side, fearful of the look she was going to have on her face. She had reached her hand out towards me, and she slowly pulled it back to the side. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, looking small and helpless as she dropped her gaze to the ground. Her hand was held to her face, and her downcast eyes were glazed with threatening tears.