Switching Sides | Cedric Diggory vs. Fred Weasley

Chapter 23: Point of View

*Millie's POV*

I can't do it. I can't get out of bed. It's nearly 8:00 pm on Wednesday and I've been laying here since I got back from the hospital wing early Sunday morning. It's been four days since Cedric and I broke up and I swear to Godric himself my heart is physically breaking. I've cried so much I can hardly breath and my eyes are red and raw.

I snuck out the night before last to go to the kitchens around 2:00 am, just because my stomach was so empty I could feel myself starting to black out. It's starting to get to that point again, but the pain in my chest is far worse than that of an empty stomach.

The creak of the door echos loud through my room and I already know what's coming. Alicia walks right over and starts shaking my bed curtains as she had every time she's been in here since Sunday. I had put a charm on them so I can only open them from the inside.

I still haven't talked to anyone about Cedric, so no one knows why I won't get up, they just know I won't. Fred has been amazing, asking everyone to give me time, but I think even he knows we only have so much time left.

"Millie, please get up," she begs. "Everyone's so worried about you,"

I don't doubt that they are, I just honestly can't find it in me to care right now.

"Tell them I'm fine," I croak. My voice is scratchy from my throat being so dry.

"I'm not gonna lie to them," she sighs. I hear her sit down on her bed.

I wish she would lie to them. At this point, them constantly coming up to try and get me out of the room is worse than the thought of actually doing it. I also know I have to shower and brush my teeth and such, it's just hard to suck up the motivation to do any of that. It's hard to do anything right now.

I sit myself up and slide open the curtains just enough to look at Alicia.

"Bloody hell, Millie," she sighs. "Have you slept at all?"

No.

"Yes," I haven't even looked in a mirror since Friday, but I can tell how purple the bags under my eyes are, how pale I look, how greasy my hair is. I place my feet on the floor, standing up and walking to the bathroom in my tear stained pajamas. "I'm taking a shower, then I guess I'll be down,"

"Thank you," Alicia smiles. She has the brightest smile, it always makes me smile back at her, but not this time. I just nod once and turn back around in the direction of the bathroom.

I strip down before stepping into the steaming shower, the hot water pouring over me as I just stand there, my tears mixing with the stream. A part of me knows that people cheat all the time and I just need to get over it. Hell, that's the advice I'd given my friends who had been cheated on, but I never thought it would hurt like this.

I never thought I could look back at a moment as simple as when Cedric and I sat and read in the library and feel a wave of pain flow over me. I never thought something as innocent as smelling his scent on my clothes would leave me curled up in my bed, gasping for air through my tears. I never thought I would regret trusting someone as much as I do. The only thing that hurts more than knowing Cedric slept with Isabelle is knowing it was right under my nose...and knowing a huge part of me wants him back.

I know I won't be able to trust him again, so I don't want to bother trying to make us work, at least not right now, but I do still love him. So ducking much. I've been thinking of just taking a break from romance and sex all together; spending the summer working on myself and spending time with my family. Maybe distract myself with Quidditch, pick up some new hobbies. Maybe fall out of love. I can't wait to go back home.