Switching Sides | Cedric Diggory vs. Fred Weasley

Chapter 36: Christmas

A/N: Spice warning! This chapter contains mature content.

Trigger warning: self harm and mentions of suicide.

-

The days leading up to Christmas weren't what they'd been in years past for the Barrett's. What was once a light-hearted, fun time spent with each other turned into separate rooms and quiet sobs. Millie left her room twice in the two days leading up to Christmas; both times for dinner. Silent dinner. No one wanted to state the obvious.

But Christmas morning, Millie sat awake in her room around 10:00 am contemplating what to do. Does she go downstairs and see if anyone's there? See if there are presents under their non-existent tree? She'd gotten her mother a present, but should she really give it to her? Or would that remind her that it's Christmas? That it's Cameron's 40th birthday? That he's not there to celebrate it?

Millie was terrified of what Killian was doing alone in his room. She hadn't heard anything going on in there. He had come down for dinner both days before, but he didn't seem like himself at all. She hadn't expected him to, but this was different. He was much more distant than she'd expected; much quieter. Usually she would hear the thumps of his fists against the walls of his room, but this time she hadn't. Any other time that would be a good thing, but what was he doing instead with his pent up remorse?

By 10:15 she decided to go downstairs and see if anyone was there. She pulled on a jumper over her pajamas, grabbed the present for her mother, and slowly exited her room, walking down the stairs quietly. Surly enough, her mother was sitting on the couch with a mug full of hot chocolate and a couple presents in front of her.

"Morning, mum," Millie said, getting her mother's attention as she moved into the living room and sat down next to her.

"Good morning, dear," she whispered. "I have presents for you and Killian...I didn't know if either of you were going to come down,"

"I didn't know if you would," she mumbled, placing the box she was carrying on the table. "I have presents, too,"

Her mother smiled, barely looking at Millie.

"Should I go wake up Killian?" Millie asked.

"I'm sure he's awake," Lucinda stated. "He hasn't slept much...he'll come down when he's ready,"

Killian didn't come downstairs.

Millie and her mother had spent the whole day in the living room, silently watching TV, eating a light lunch and dinner, and, once again, ignoring the reality this day held for them. By 8:45 pm, Millie was starting to get really worried about her brother. She told her mother she was going to the bathroom, but instead she quietly wandered down the short hallway upstairs to Killian's room. She knocked on the door.

"Killian?" she mumbled.

"Yeah?" his voice came, muffled through the door. Millie could tell he was crying.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

Silence.

"Can I?" she asked again.

"Please don't," his voice came, shaking.

"What are you doing?" she asked calmly, tears forming in her eyes.

"Millie, go away,"

"Tell me you're safe and I will,"

Silence.

"Killian?" her voice shook.

"I'm sorry," he whispered; it was barely audible through the closed door.