Goin' Viral (Kleinsen)

Chapter 29

~jared's pov~

"Why are you here, Connor?" My voice was stern, which was reasonable right? 

"Calm yourself, Jared. This is just a conversation. It's just I have a gun and you don't. You have everything to lose, I don't. And that is all your fault, Jared." 

"How is your life my fault? I didn't make you this way, Connor. You can't blame anyone but yourself for this." 

"BUT MAYBE- Jared. Maybe if you hadn't have stolen Evan away, I wouldn't have ended up like this. If you hadn't have taken away the one thing I had, I might just be okay." 

What the hell was he talking about? 

"I didn't 'steal' Evan from anyone. He makes his own choices. If you hadn't have treated him like utter trash, maybe things would have been okay. YOU messed up, Connor. I cleaned up your mess." 

"Don't shit me, Jared. You know that if it weren't for you Evan would have gone through a lot less pain. He could have killed himself because of you, Jared." 

Dead silence. 

"....how did you know that?" My voice was low, broken. The words shattered me and I couldn't make this better.

"Where's that famous 'Jared sarcasm', hm?"

"How did you know that?" I said, a little stronger this time. 

"It doesn't matter, Jared. What matters is that it's true. You cannot keep lying to yourself. Evan's anxiety, and depression, and suicide attempts are all YOUR fault. You took away the one ray of light I had. It's time you pay for it. You don't deserve him. And I think you realize that now. This gun isn't for me Jared. It's for you." 

He was right. I didn't deserve Evan. I had somehow been blessed with the most beautiful, caring man. I treated him terribly for so long. But I deserved him more than Connor, didn't I? I mean, I tried. I tried to help him. The only thing Connor ever did was take. I gave, Evan. I promise I tried and I gave more than I took. You want me, don't you Evan? You don't want Connor...

...right?