Smut Book

I Never Left, I Fell - Vinnie Hacker 🦋

~talks of suicide and death, fluff, smoking~

I walked through the school halls, peoples eyes on me and not in the good way. Let's get one thing clear, I don't have may friends - I'm what people class as a 'loser'. I don't know who knighted me with that title but it's stuck throughout all of high school. I was actually part of the 'popular girls' friend group during the start of freshmen year, but their ring leader decided I wasn't good enough and exiled me by saying I was sleeping with peoples boyfriends. 

It's now senior year, and people still see me as the school slut even though my body count is 0.  A positive of the situation is people think I'm easy, so when I reject them it's funny to see them lose a bit of their confidence and ego. My grades are thriving as well, I'm definitely one of the smartest in my year. 

Most my classes are really boring, so let's just skip to lunch. I sat down at my table in the back corner, far from anyone who could annoy me. I was by a window, which I open ever lunch so I can have a cigarette. I've tried to quit, but I got addicted quickly and completely blame my brother. When our dad died at the end of freshmen year, Conner took the news really badly and I stayed with him to help, but I just ended up as bad as him. Not that Vinnie was any help. Yes, Vinnie and I were friends before he met Kio. Kio was a bad influence on Vinnie, just as must as Conner was a bad influence on me. Kio's attractive I'll admit, but he's not Vinnie.

I heard familiar voices getting closer to the table, making me roll my eyes when they sat down. "Hey princess" I heard Kio's voice making me turn to face him as he sat across the table from me.  I felt Vinnie sit down next to me as I took another drag of my cigarette. "Are you not happy to see us?" Vinnie asked, his hand rubbing up and down my thigh making me more aroused than I care to admit but I played it off again. I turned to Vinnie and blew the smoke in his face, making him laugh as he breathed in the smoke around him. "Hi" I said, smiling sarcastically and turning back to my window.

Vinnie and I haven't talked since my dad died, we fell out a few weeks before his death. But when he died, Vinnie never even asked if I was okay. After a few months he became friends with Kio and became a man whore, sleeping with desperate girls, thinking I was doing the same with guys. Yes, before our fall out I liked Vinnie, hell I loved him.  We had been friends since we were kids but he never knew I fell in love.

I heard Kio get up and walk over to the 'popular' table, leaving Vinnie with me. "Come on, loosen up" Vinnie laughed, nudging my shoulder and I could heard the smile in his voice. "Nah, I'm fine" I said before taking another drag "Oh yeah, you're already pretty loose" Vinnie whispered and got up to follow Kio, I turned and watched him walk away in utter shock that he still thought I was this slut. I watched them as they laughed, all the girls being extra loud and touchy - definitely just wanting in their pants and failing miserably. I flicked the remainder of my cigarette out the window and got up to leave. 

I pulled my jumper over my head leaving me in my black tennis skirt and lacey red corset top - kind of revealing for school, but I'm the slut right I should live up to my title. I felt eyes on me as I tucked my jumper into my bag and throwing my bag over my shoulder. When I looked up all the guys were looking at me, and a lot of jealous girls. I have a good figure, decent sized breast which this top framed perfectly, a sort of hourglass waist and my ass is defiantly the best. I was more comfortable in my own skin than you'd think.

I walked through the hall, people eyes never leaving mine - including Vinnie's and Kio's. I lifted Vinnie's chin with my index finger, so his eyes met mine. "My eyes are up here Hacker" I smiled walking away when I heard Jessica speak up. Remember that bitch who told everyone I was the school slut, yea - Jessica. "She's such a slut" I heard her say, making me turn around and walk back to her table - I was standing in between Kio and Vinnie. 

"Just cause I'm confident" I replied, the boys looking up at me. "Says the girl who slept with peoples boyfriends" She said, smirking and continuing her stupid act. "I'm sorry that you were so jealous and insecure that you had to make up some lie, which would ensure that I would never be a threat to you" I replied smiling. "You know it's not true, so go ahead call me a slut again.  See what happens" I smiled in a passive aggressive manner. "Slut" Jessica said, looking me up and down.

I laughed to myself, turning around and taking a few steps before turning back and launching myself across the table. I threw myself at her, getting on top of her and punching her head - I didn't care anymore. I was lifted off of her by a muscular arm - Vinnie's - I was kicking and screaming while he dragged me away. "Fuck you Jessica, you skank!" I screamed when he threw me over his shoulder and stormed to the closest empty classroom. 

"What the fuck was that?" Vinnie shouted, dropping me on a desk so our faces were level. "Why do you care?" I spat, looking at him with disgust. "I don't want you getting kicked out" He yelled looking at me as though it were obvious. "Shut up Vincent, you don't care about anything but getting laid or how you look" I stated, looking at him. He looked hurt by my statement, but he knows its true. 

"My dad died Vin" I said with tears in my eyes, making Vinnie sigh and look at me knowing what I was about to say. "and you didn't care" I said, a tear rolling down my cheek as this was the first I have thought about his death since the funeral. "I came to the funeral" Vinnie mumbled quietly, trying to reach out to me. "I know, I saw you" I said, thinking about the memory of the curly haired boy sitting at the back of the church, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

"But you had your boytoy with you" Vinnie whispered, making me look at him with a confused look. "Who?" I croaked, my voice shaky as I tried to control my tears. "That Conner kid, he was hugging you the whole time." Vinnie said, looking down as he regretted not talking to me. "My brother Conner, the brother who was living with my mom and only visited us on weekends!" I laughed,  annoyed that Vinnie actually believed these stories about me. Vinnie looked at me with glossy eyes, regretting his decisions - he never met my brother and therefore didn't know that was him. 

"The brother who moved back in with me because he missed my dad so much and was kicked out by my drunken mother, the brother who became depressed and suicidal" I continued shouting, tears rolling down my cheeks. "The brother I found dead in his room with a suicide note on his bed" I cried remembering the scene. I found him laying in bed, I thought he was asleep until I saw the pills on the table and the note at the end of the bed. I started to breakdown, struggling to catch a breath as I fell to the floor.

But Vinnie caught me before I hit the floor, sitting down beside me as I broke down. I cried into his chest while he stroked my hair trying to clam me down. "Shh" Vinnie cooed trying to calm me down. I felt so safe in his arms, I didn't ever want to leave. "You left me alone" I cried into his chest making Vinnie push my head back gently to look into my eyes. "I never left, I fell" He spoke softly, making me look confused again. "I fell in love, and it scared me. I never meant to hurt you this much" Vinnie said with glossy eyes.

A tear rolled down his cheek as we sat in silence. "I loved you, and you left" I said quietly, making Vinnie start to cry as he tried desperately to get me back. "I will never leave you. I can't, I don't want to see you like this. Let me help" Vinnie asked, calming himself down as he realised one of us had to stay calm. I nodded my head, to tired and sad to form a sentence. Vinnie pressed his lips against my forehead and held my hands tightly. "Can you take me home?" I asked, whispering as my forehead lay against his chest.

"I'll do what ever you want" Vinnie smiled, standing up and reaching for my hand. "Let's go bubs" He said, making butterflies form in my stomach. I never fell out of love with this boy. I smiled and took his hand, letting him lead my out of that hell hole.