Smut Book

🦋Insecurities🦋 - Anthony Reeves

~fluff~

I've been with Anthony for almost a year now. We didn't announce our relationship until like 4 months ago. But since then My confidence has fallen. Drastically. All I wear is sweatpants and Anthony's hoodies. Anthony has noticed and questioned it, but I say things like "It smells like you" or "It's just so comfy" or "It's not like we are going anywhere, let's watch a movie". Hell, I won't even let him see me fully naked, and yes, we do have sex - I just never get round to taking my top off. I can't remember the last time I smiled and it didn't feel forced. So this is why I've made up my mind. I need to break up with Anthony. Disappear. To where no one can hurt me, because frankly I can't take it anymore.

"Bubs, I'm back" Anthony shouted from downstairs. I ran and shoved a hoodie over my head just as he walked through our bedroom door. "hey y/n" he smiled, making tear roll down my cheek. "A-Anthony, can we talk?" I breathed joining him on the bed. "Of course baby" He placed hand on my thigh. "Anthony I love you more than I can put into words, but um" I stuttered. "Why do I feel like you're breaking up with me?" He chuckled, to try and hide the fact he had never felt this scared in his life. "Because I am" I sniffled, looking up to meet his gaze - his eyes filled with tears. "W-Why?" He chocked, tears now rolling down his cheeks. "Anthony I just can't do this" I spoke tears now rolling now my cheeks too. "Is this because they hate you, baby they don't matter-" He tired to negotiate. "No Anthony, it's because I hate myself!" I yelled

Anthony sat speechless that I admitted it. "I hate everything about me. I look at myself in the mirror and I am terrified if I let you see the person underneath this hoodie, you will be disgusted. Because I know I am!" I broke down "I can't do this" I choked standing up to pack my bags, only to be granted by Anthony's hand pulling me back. I stood between his legs looking down at him - tears streaming down both our faces. He patted his lap asking me to sit down. I did as I didn't have the strength to argue. I straddled his lap, resting my head in the crook of his neck as his arms hugged around my waist tightly securing me into our hug. I sobbed into neck as he rock me back and forth, drawing circles on my back to try and calm me down.

"Don't leave." he whispered into my ear. "y/n you are the love of my life and I think you are gorgeous. It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. You are amazing, and you will forever be mine." His words calmed me down as he reassured me of his love. "I'm gonna marry you one day. You are gonna carry my children, and we'll have mini you or a mini me or lots of them running around our feet." He laughed making me giggle and look at him. "We'll be stressed, but we'll be fined because we have each other and we will talk to each other. About anything." I moved my head back to his neck, only to be brought back by Anthony's hand - so he could look me in the eyes. "We're gonna grow old together, y/n. Okay?" I smiled and nodded. "I cannot wait for the day were you say yes to being mine forever." He smiled.

"And always" I whispered, making him pull my lips to his in a passionate dance of love. 

"Y/n, I need you to promise me that things will never get this bad again. That if you feel like this you will talk to me. I hate the thought of you seeing yourself like this." He played with my hair. "I will, I'm so sorry" I mumbled. "Don't be" He smiled. He picked me up causing me to giggle and he threw me into bed. He jumped in beside me after taking his clothes off, except his boxers, so he was more suitable for bed. I lay snuggled into his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me. "I love you" I yawned, before drifting off to sleep. "I love you too" Anthony mumbled.

"No matter what. Forever."

a/n: a cute one today. Kind of want to make a pat 2, not sure thought so comment if you'd like that - also idk if I should do smut in the part 2?