Fall Again

[17] Thoughts

ZYLAN'S POV

“You okay?” I asked when I saw her sitting on the edge of the bed. Her head was looking down. She didn’t look at me.

I quietly walked to her. She was holding something that was between her thighs. Her hands were covering it too so I can’t see what it was.

I sat down beside her. She still didn’t say anything. I put my hand on her back. “Hey, are you okay?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. Whenever she’s like this, I knew something was wrong.

Her hands lifted from her thighs and showed me what she was holding. I took it from her.

A white stick with two red lines. My eyes were glued at it. Immediately, I knew what those lines meant.

There was moment of silence between us. My hand held the white stick tightly. I was in blank state. I couldn’t think of anything.

Then, I heard small sobs coming from her. Those small cries. Her shoulders were shaking as she continue sobbing.

“W-What will…I-I… d-do, Z?” Her voice were shaking too. I put down the stick on the bed and cupped her face with my hands. I tilted her head up to make her look at me. There, I saw those red eyes. Her tears were continuously falling down. Her lips were quivering.

“W-What are…we g-going to do?”

The worried and scared were visible in her eyes. It was hard to see those orbs crying.

"I won't leave you. I won't run away. I'll take care of  you and our kid." I said and kissed her forehead and a deep kiss on her lips to give her the assurance she badly needed. I held her hand and wrapped my arms around her as she continue to let out small sobs.

I opened my eyes. It was still dark yet the breeze was cold. I think it’s dawn. I looked over and saw my girlfriend sleeping peacefully.

That scene were only one of the memories that often played in my mind.

The day I found out Sydney was carrying our kid, I had no idea what would I do. We were young at that time. I knew it was my fault. But I'm thankful I have my kid in my life now.

I couldn't deny the thought that having Sydney back would come true.

I heard a small cry from the crib and I knew daughter had woken up. She usually wakes up around this early. I carefully unwrapped my arm around Sydney to avoid waking her. I knew she hadn't enough sleep because of her busy schedules.

I walked to the crib and I was right. Lynx was awake from her sleep. I put my hands under her shoulders and lifted her up gently. I rested her head on my shoulder while swaying slowly. It didn't take long and she fell back to sleep again. I laid her down gently and went back to bed.

My mind suddenly remembered something. I checked my phone and I was right. Today would not be an ordinary one. There was something I need to do. I didn’t want to anyone find out about it.

And I can’t let Sydney find out about it.

***