occasus [regulus black]

𝐢.

❛Love is not full of pity, as men say,
But deaf and cruel where he means to prey.❜

This extract from Christopher Marlowes Second sestyad of Hero and Leander always stuck with her, ever since her mom told her about the tragedy of the two when she was younger.

Estelle sat in a empty waiting room, waiting for her mind healer to come pick her up. Trauma therapy was a rather new specialty and therefore pretty vague, without a lot of scientific proof, but she didn't care. All she cared about was to finally be able to swim in a lake with her friends again, without having a panic attack and to no longer being laughed at for sleeping in diffused light.

Sneaking outside always seemed to be something everyone does, something typical. Especially when your younger, you don't think about risks and consequences, unless it's too late. You just did whatever came to your mind. There was nothing she regretted in her life, besides that night.

"Are you ready to go back?"

The woman, speaking to her,  had short black hair and looked at the younger one in front of her observant. While gesturing her into a smaller more sterile room, were she ordered her to lay down. Estelle started biting her lower lip fidgety, before giving a small nod of agreement.

"If you feel like you can't take it any more, all you need to do is say so, alright? We are here to loosen your trauma not to worsen it."

She took a deep breath, "I think I'm ready." Her voice sounded a bit more brittle than she thought it would.

"Legiliments"

It didn't hurt, when the healer entered her mind, but it wasn't exactly pleasant either. She could feel her walking through her thoughts. She hated the feeling of it, but it was now too late to change her mind. If it wouldn't have been in such a sterlile manner, it would've been extremely intimate. All of her thoughts, fears, dreams and hopes were open and unprotected. The mind healer made her way through her mind, pushing unecessary things aside, while going deeper into her childhood.

Where are we?

Her voice echoed around her head, while Estelle looked around. They were in her old room. High ceilings and her beloved piano, multiple books, clothes and dolls spread all over the floor in a huge mess. Her younger self was laying in bed and waiting for her mother and brother to go to sleep, staring at the ceiling, which was covered in hand painted star constellations.

They skimmed through the memory until they stood inside a forest. It was pitch dark. Estelle focused and could now see her younger self walking down the muddy path with an apple in her small hand, her pigtails happily bouncing up and down. The apple was for a Thestral she had found hidden in the woods, a week ago. 

I suppose we're approaching the accident.

Nodding was everything Estelle could do, while watching her eleven year old self, as if she was in trance. There was a loud crack behind them and her younger self flinched.

"Nerio, is that you? This is not funny."

She could her herself asking into the darkness frightened. Another worryingly close crack, caused her to start running. Something about the darkness changed. It felt more dangerous. Her memory became darker as well, while she stumbled after her younger self. Adrenaline was rushing through her veins and her heart pumped heavily, it was as if she was there again.

Estelle we can stop if it's too much for you right now.

She shook her head and continued following the younger version of herself deeper into the forest.