occasus [regulus black]

𝐱𝐢𝐱

"May I?" He heard a soft voice ask from behind him. Regulus turned around and saw Nesrin, who reached up the bookshelf trying to get the book they needed for their Transfigured homework.

"Let me." He reached over her head and got the book for her. She gave him a subtle smile, but he realized a sadness in her eyes.

"Thanks." The conflict she had over the next words showed clearly in her eyes, before she grabbed his arm and held him back. "Why do you hate me so much? I mean I get that you're just jealous of Estelle, for getting sorted into Slytherin faster and being better in potions, but me? I've always been nice to you."

Now it was Regulus turn to feel conflicted. On the one hand he knew that she was right. He had no reason to despise her. On the other hand, he had no other choice. Looking at Nesrin for who she was, rather than what she was, made him feel bad for the times he had bullied her.

"It's nothing personal." It was impossible for him to look her in the eyes while saying that. In his head he cursed himself for using such an universal and more importantly, meaningless sentence.

"Oh, I understand. Proud Regulus Black, can't decide for himself who he likes, because he's scared of his Mommy being mad at him." Nesrins brown eyes stared him down angrily and he began to feel uneasy under her gaze. His hands went through his curls nervously, when she raised her hand and pointed at him angrily. "You act all tough, but inside you're just a spoiled child, that can't stand up against for what he knows is wrong. I feel sorry for you."

Just when he wanted to hold something against her accusations she turned around and left him alone in the library. Her words stroke him harder than he thought they would. It made him think. Inside he already knew, that if it wasn't for his family him and Nesrin could probably become really good friends.

Just like every morning since Nesrin had been killed he woke up drenched in sweat from the nightmares that made him wake up tired. Staring at the ceiling he relived the memory and remembered her words again. Not that it would matter to him, at least that's what he told himself.

Family was all that mattered.

The bureau of Albus Dumbledore was stuffed with books, golden astronomy devices, parchment and old paintings of the prior headmasters. Estelle had entered the room after being invited in and now sat in front of Dumbledore stiffly.

"I deeply apologize for your loss. As the headmaster I can't help but feel guilty for not being able to protect the students of this school better. Nesrin was a remarkable student and I'm sure she would've been able to make the extraordinary happen."

His grey eyes watched Estelle carefully, but she didn't respond to his words. All she did was stare into the ground, not moving a muscle, while cramping her right hand around her left wrist.

"You probably want to know how she got in. There was a Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement so they could pass the borders unseen. Don't worry further, we destroyed it, it's impossible to use now."

Her head was empty, like there was a heavy fog inside of it. But what did it matter? Currently, this was the only state of mind she could endure living in. Whenever she closed her eyes, she was haunted by nightmares. As soon as she woke up, everything reminded her of what she had lost, which was ultimately everything. Working apart from her mind, her legs had started carrying her towards the door. Listening to Dumbledore just made everything worse.

"Oh and Estelle, I shall remind you that substance abuse is not permitted in Hogwarts. If you need something to help you calm down, you should visit the hospital wing."

"That won't be necessary."

He fixated her over the top of his glasses and gave her a sharp look. For a second his eyes wandered to her left wrist, which she still had clutched with her right hand.