kingdom come undone | Kylo Ren x Reader

part one | chapter four

It's a lot easier to hate someone when you have no idea what they look like.

Contrariwise, it's significantly harder when your brain is constantly screaming about how attractive they are, despite your best efforts to pointedly not think about it.

Add that to said attractive person being your soulmate and well. Your mind was, understandably, racing.

You'd woken in your bed after being put to sleep by Kylo Ren, and you cataloged that away in the tiny mental box you had labeled Things That Kylo Ren Can Do, Apparently. Your knowledge of the Force was, admittedly, very lacking. But even with the limited knowledge you had, you suspected that Kylo Ren had many more abilities than you could ever fathom.

Your knee had been healed, presumably by someone from the medbay while you were unconscious. There weren't even any scars on your skin, which was a strong testament to the First Order's medical care, though you could swear that it still felt less stable than it had before. The pants that you had fallen on and torn were gone, the access panel and keypad you had managed to bypass replaced, and it was as if you had never even left your room in the first place.

The only thing that had changed, really, were your thoughts surrounding Kylo Ren. You still hated him, obviously, but knowing that he was truly human and alive underneath his helmet, that somewhere he had a beating heart, left you conflicted.

Did it even make sense to continue trying to hate him when the universe had apparently decided that you were to be bound to one another? What was the point in fighting against him when it didn't even matter, when you were literally made for each other?

Maybe the universe made a mistake.

It would make sense.

The universe, in its infinite wisdom, had made a mistake. One mistake. And it just so happened to involve you.

Nope, that was stupid. No one has ever been mistakenly matched- not that you'd heard of. Were there times where people never met their soulmate due to a freak accident? Yes, but those were extremely rare- almost unheard of. "They wouldn't be your soulmate if you weren't ever going to meet each other," Your mother would say when you would worry out loud to her, stroking your hair in front of the fire while you traced your soulmark.

But how much longer could you sustain your hatred for him when he seemed to constantly occupy your thoughts, when even your dreams from the last few nights revolved around him? You wished that you could know what he was thinking, what he was feeling at any given moment. He was hard to read, with or without his helmet, and you were suffering for it.

But as far as you could tell, he had no intentions of letting you go or killing you to put you both out of your misery. He had every semblance of control in your relationship and fighting against it didn't seem to be working. So, you could either dig your heels in further and continue to make yourself miserable, or you could try to cooperate.

Not a lot. Just a little. Just enough so that maybe you can have a conversation with Kylo Ren that didn't make you feel like you'd been standing in a raging storm for twenty minutes. Just enough so you could maybe- maybe- figure out what would make the two of your souls compatible.

And after that, you had no idea what you would do. When you'd finally figured out why you were made for him- and him made for you- you would figure out your next steps. And you had a feeling- a good feeling- that that wouldn't occur for a very long time.

___

Kylo Ren strode into the room, his gait confident and strong. Nothing out of the usual, then. You stumbled to your feet from where you had been sitting on the ground, attempting to meditate. Without any fanfare, he simply sat down at the small table, gesturing towards the other seat.