kingdom come undone | Kylo Ren x Reader

part one | chapter nine

The transport was quiet.

When Kylo Ren had mentioned that you were coming with him to the Finalizer, you had assumed that meant you would be traveling with him as well. Thought that perhaps having sex with him would affect how distant he was, change his detached way of dealing with you. Even if just in a tiny, miniscule, barely discernible way.

So, when Stormtroopers arrived at your door, echoing your initial transfer to Starkiller from the Finalizer, you felt a strange twinge of disappointment.

You weren't going to miss your room. The only thing you really had to miss was the laundry Stormtrooper, and he must have been reassigned because he hadn't been around for the past two weeks. At least, you hoped he had been reassigned and not killed, not sent into battle only to meet his demise.

As you sat in the empty transport, you fantasized, for a brief moment, what it would've been like if you had been accompanying Kylo over. If you'd have been able to look into space, see the stars. If going into hyperspace would be necessary, if he would pilot or if someone else would chauffeur you.

Chauffeur.

You almost laughed at yourself, the glamor implied by the word completely absent from your life. It took you out of the fantasy, reluctantly bringing you back into the cold, unfeeling transport. Just because you had fucked Kylo Ren it didn't mean you were going to be his girlfriend. The very word seemed wrong when applied to your relationship with him, implying triviality where it didn't exist.

No matter what the fates intended when matching you two together, it certainly wasn't that. It would never be a normal relationship. Nothing could be normal with him.

And perhaps... perhaps you were meant to be unhappy. Not everyone got a happy ending and the likelihood of you being one the lucky ones was miniscule.

Star-crossed soulmates weren't common, but they happened. It was almost like it was the universe's idea of a sick trick, deciding that two people, who could never truly be with one another, were destined for each other.

It wasn't a scenario you had ignored during your constant ruminating on the life you now led, but whether or not that described you and Kylo was yet to be seen. And whether or not you'd actually find out within your lifetime was a different question.

If tragedy was in your destiny, you doubted you'd survive long enough to realize it.

If you could move your arms, you would've put your head in your hands. Nothing came from constantly going over the same topic, the same thoughts only serving to further frustrate you. They circled around in your head and have been since you first heard Kylo Ren's voice and discovered what he was to you, discovered that out of everyone in the galaxy he was the one you were fated to meet.

But as it was, your hands were restrained, you once again buckled into a tiny transport to be ferried over after Kylo, like a forgotten piece of luggage, an afterthought.

"Isn't this a waste of resources?" You asked, looking into the cockpit. The pilot didn't answer, didn't even turn his head in indication that he heard you. As far as you could tell, you were the only reason this transport was being used. "You know, dragging me to the Finalizer in a completely different ship when I could have just gone with Kylo-" A pause before you hastily added on: "--Ren."

You were certainly not on a first name basis with the man, your heart pounded at the very thought of calling him just by his first name since he shut you down after trying when Hux interrupted your sparring session. And you were definitely not supposed to be openly familiar with him in front of his subordinates.