Dear Little Deaf Boy

DLDB:77

J A S P E R

      " They dropped them!" Kinsley exclaimed again in excitement. Her dark hair flowing as she literally jumped for joy. I wasn't as excited as her, I mean there was relief but still worry. She looked so carefree her face bare not even wearing her famous lip stick, her dark hair was and bounced with every step she took. What I loved the most was her outfit, she wore a oversized a faded Nirvana shirt that she got from my closet, and black panties. It was a different look for her, Kinsley was the kind of girl that curved her lashes before bed and sleep in silk pajamas, not a hair out a place always. That was Kinsley always put together.

   After we had sex  I had noticed a change. She spent more time at my house, mostly nights, I'd pick her up in my outdated Nissan and we'd spend our nights on my side of town. Of course she wore her lip stick and had her hand bags and high heels, but as the hours passed and it would get darker, she'd get a  pair of boxer and a t shirt from drawer we'd shower and the make up would wash down the drain she'd  let her down , not curling it before bed like she use to.

   She was always a beauty, and I loved how much pride she took in herself she didn't dress for other people, for their approval or validation she already knew how beautiful she was.

    The change came subtly, her pajama's stopped matching, then mixed socks, eventually she started sleeping with her hair in two braids. I knew things had shifted when she walked out of the bathroom in full cumber face mask with no shame or when I witnessed her causally waxing her  legs. I was seeing the making of the glam,the before shots, the face mask, teeth whiting coal , and wax on her upper lip.

  She wasn't changing her self for me, she still dressed the same loved her luxury brands and make up.  I was apart of the behind the scenes, and I think it was because she  was comfortable with her beauty. Not just the outer appearance, but the inside. She was finally at a place where she loved her character her traits, her passion, her kindness, her honesty she was truly happy with her self completely and I saw it.

     She finally saw the beauty I did.

  Her smile was so big, enthusiastic about my life not being ruined by the Rangers .

" They dropped the chargers!" She screamed again. So words fumbled out of her mouth I couldn't catch them as she span around the room and her constantly moving.

    Her eyes sparkled, she got on the bed and cane behind me,  her arms draped over my neck she placed a big kiss on my cheek.

  Knowing I could no longer read her lips. Her manicured fingers in front of me signed.

    " Why aren't you excited?"

I wasn't excited, she was right.

" I am." I lied. " I... just I lost my scholarship so it's hard to be thrilled."

   I felt everything breath as she was behind me her body pressed against mine. Her hands moved again.

   " The years nearly over its just a semester left. A semester of tuition shouldn't be much."

    Kinsley was naive. Not willingly, and I know might not be the best chose of words, maybe obviously or sheltered. She just didn't really know the cost of the world. Didn't know that she attended one of the most prestigious private schools in the state with a yearly tuition that nearly matched the price of a public college. Didn't know that paying just a semester off would required a much larger wage than my job at the book store could support ,add the cost of prom and graduation along with sending money to my Grandma for Jack's dance lessons and then you can't forget the constant demands of home.