Kingston

10. Shane

Axel's lips were cold and plump and tasted like whisky. As they parted, his tongue escaped and snaked against mine, making my very core burn desperately as I gripped onto his body tightly. I pulled him against me, our bodies pressing together heatedly and I could practically hear my own heartbeat it was thumping so fast. His silken lips continued to move against mine and I heard myself groan as his hands made their way up my back and snaked through my hair. The smell of his cologne made my skin tingle and a warmth in my chest blossom. Nobody had ever kissed me like this before. Nobody had ever seemed so hungry for me. It was like we were no longer standing in our dorm room, but lost in our own little world and I was almost dizzy from the whirlwind of it all. Then, just as I felt the arousal inside of me growing, the moment was snatched away.

'Shit!' Axel hissed, twisting and storming away from me, where he leaned against the wall and breathed in and out heavily.

I was lost for words. It was a first for me to not have something to say but I was silenced by the shock of what had just happened between us. All I could do was sit down on the bed to try and calm myself and stare worriedly at Axel. I found myself touching my lips gently, still feeling the sensations from where his had just been.

The silence seemed to go on forever and I began to realise that what I was seeing right in front of me was regret, shame and embarrassment.

'Axel,' I murmured. 'It's alright...'

'Just stop talking, Shane,' he whispered, dropping his head lower.

'Stop beating yourself up,' I told him.

He slowly straightened up and turned around to look at me. For some reason, I dreaded seeing what the expression on his face would be when he let his eyes meet mine. I was overwhelmed with happiness at what he had just done, as much as I had no clue what it even meant. I loved him and if he was about to tear me down, I knew my skin wouldn't be so thick this time around.

He finally laid eyes on me, but they were empty and lost. He looked clueless too. He looked like he had no idea how or why it had just happened; as if someone else had taken control of his body and forced him to do so. He looked confused. He looked mortified. I knew it was going to be hard for him and I wanted to tread carefully and not push him too far but I had to know. I got to my feet again and took a step towards him, still keeping my expression relaxed as I focused on his wild and worried eyes.

'What just happened?' I asked.

'Shane...' he mumbled, shaking his head and looking to the floor.

'No, don't do this,' I replied. 'Don't brush it off and try to avoid the conversation. Axel...you just kissed me.'

He squeezed his eyes shut at the words and I knew it pained him to hear it just as much as it pained me to realise that.

'You don't have to be ashamed,' I told him, and my voice was a weak croak.