No Going Back

39

The principle on which to manage an army is to set up one standard of courage which all must reach.
━
The Art of War
Sun Tzu

≣

"Jungkook, will you please just drop it? My answer is no."

An inelegant huff pushed through Jungkook's lips, the sound a cross between annoyance and determination. He sunk into the couch across from his brother, fixing an unwavering expression on his face. "I know. I get it. You've been saying the same thing for the last three-and-a-half weeks."

"You get it, huh?" Namjoon repeated with a raised eyebrow, pushing himself up so he could sit taller in his chair. He tried to mask his pain, though a grimace twisted the corners of his mouth and a flash of discomfort shone in his eyes. There was still a long way to go until he reached total recovery. "If you get it, then why do you keep asking?"

A part of Jungkook's brain - the smaller, wiser, and more rational part - encouraged him to abandon this particular subject. Realistically, there wasn't much to gain by pursuing this conversation right this second. And besides, Namjoon had been pretty adamant since waking up in the hospital just short of a month ago. His mind never showed any hint of swaying and his opinions never deviated from their stubborn rigidity.

Namjoon did not want to see Chinhwa. Not now, not ever.

Each time Jungkook carefully brought up that man - a man he'd come to greatly respect and form an attachment towards - he was instantly shot down. If he so much as uttered Chinhwa or birth father or that dude who gave you life, his brother would hobble away and refuse to engage.

And while Jungkook knew he should let Namjoon work things out on his own, he feared what could happen after tomorrow. He feared that if he stopped trying now, his brother and Chinhwa would never get the chance to talk freely and privately. He feared watching his brother drown in regret and feared witnessing Chinhwa place even more blame upon himself.

So he ignored that sensible part of his brain and listened to the other part. The part that was just as - if not more - stubborn as his brother.

"Look, I'm not trying to ask you to do anything right now, okay?" Jungkook defended calmly, keeping his posture relaxed and unassuming. He had to remain as passive as possible to break through his brother's walls. "All I wanted to do was pass along some important information . . . Information you might want to think over a bit before automatically telling me to shut up."

So much for remaining passive.

"I know what you're doing. You're sharing information in the hopes of changing my mind. But Kook, I've already made a decision, alright? My answer is still going to be no, regardless of what you tell me." Namjoon crossed his arms over his chest in a show of defiance, though immediately let them drop once they pressed against his tender stomach.

"Why not hear him out? You don't even have to talk. Just listen to what he has to say and go from there," Jungkook implored, refusing to let his brother's aversion deter him. "He's a good man, Joon."

"Sure. He's a great man," Namjoon replied, his tone neutral and noncommittal. He wasn't agreeing with Jungkook; no, he just wanted no part of this discussion.

Jungkook's hands balled into fists, his exasperation slowly rising to the surface. The impatient side of him wanted to shake his brother by the shoulders, though he knew that would be unproductive. Plus, he didn't want to disturb anyone else by acting on his frustration. Jin, Jimin, and Hoseok were all attempting to rest before the big day tomorrow.