No Going Back

16

Like the sun and moon, they end but to begin anew; like the four seasons, they pass away to return once more.
━
The Art of War
Sun Tzu

≣

Jungkook somehow managed to get a few hours of sleep, a blissful nothingness not even disturbed by dreams.

When he awoke, opening his eyes and adjusting to the rising sun, he found a still-sleeping Taehyung just one foot away from him. In their slumber, they must have turned towards each other, like two magnets attracted to their opposite pole.

In his defenseless state of sleep, Taehyung showed no trace of his usual seriousness. His expression was void of pain, with no unspoken anguish tightening his features. Relaxation and peace were like an aura around the elder, making him appear younger and less stressed out. To Jungkook, he seemed to be an entirely different person, a person he probably didn't let others see.

Jungkook knew Taehyung experienced a tragic suffering, something he didn't feel comfortable talking about. It was easy enough to assume the elder locked up the boy he used to be, all so that vulnerable part of him didn't get hurt as well.

But Jungkook saw a glimpse of that person - that version of Taehyung - last night, when the influence of alcohol liberated the elder. No longer was Taehyung tense and restrained; no, he smiled easily and flirted brazenly with Jungkook. He seemed to forget the depth of his sorrows, and for a fleeting moment, Taehyung appeared to be happy.

And seeing the elder smile . . . Fuck, Jungkook had never beheld something so stunning. The brightness and pure joy contained in that one gesture took his breath away, making him want to do anything to keep Taehyung smiling like that.

Because that smiling, happy side of Taehyung . . . Jungkook loved it.

But - even though the elder could get bossy and controlling - Jungkook had come to appreciate Taehyung's more serious side as well. After all, those characteristics kept them both alive, so who was Jungkook to complain? And if he had the time to get to know Taehyung, he'd probably discover even more appealing qualities about the gorgeous bodyguard. He'd probably fall for him, too.

But that was the thing - there was no time at all. In fact, both Taehyung and Jungkook were operating on borrowed time. Unknown enemies openly hunted them, waiting for the smallest of mistakes to occur so they could strike. This whole running-for-their-lives gig was not exactly leaving many opportunities for the two boys to sit down and really talk.

And then there was the whole fact that their connection was based on a lie.

From the very beginning, honesty was not something Jungkook practiced, and look where that got him. He was fearful for his life, completely reliant on someone who didn't know he wasn't who he pretended to be. And when that person found out - when Taehyung learned of his deception - he was going to hate Jungkook unquestionably.

And while Jungkook didn't want to admit it, he wasn't ready to see Taehyung look at him with betrayal in his eyes. The bond they created, both new and undeveloped, couldn't possibly survive. Their slowly budding relationship - whatever that entailed - was too untested, and Jungkook knew it would snap. . . There was no other outcome.

And even though his connection to Taehyung was based on hidden truths and intricate secrets, it was still a connection.

Jungkook found something within Taehyung - an intrigue, or maybe even an attachment - that he still needed to explore more. But once the bodyguard finally learned that he was nothing but a nobody, a person unworthy of protection, it would all be over.