Reach For The Stars (Tommyinnit x Reader)

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟚𝟞

Tw// talk Eating disorders, Depression, PTSD, panic attacks and Anxiety. mention of self harm thought and thing along that line.

IMPORTANT : Drista And Lani and y/n are just friends. One me and my friend call each other wifey all time. There best friends that really all I have to say not much else.

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" Anorexia and Bulimia " Wild jaws dropped after I told them. "Why didn't you tell me"

He was a little angry. " It wasn't Relevant " I shrugged. " What is Anorexia " Tubbo was still confused. " It's an eating disorders tubbo"

he then made an O face. " Anyway what do you mean it wasn't Relevant. " Will was probably pissed with me for not telling him.

" I got rid of it a year ago that's why" He furrowed his eyebrows. " Y/n you still would have told me you and I very much know how easy it is to jump back on that train" I was sick of him putting me at this point. " It's still not relevant to current time" I was now almost at my breaking point. " What do you mean it's not relevant to the current time? You could still make the same mistake and go through it all over again"he was frustrated.''Wil it was none of your business. " I drank from the water I had next to me. "None of my business you have no just admitted you were hospitalized 6 times because of. How am I not to worry about it. " He raised his voice. I finally had enough.

"Will I get it okay I've made so many fucking mistake I can go back and change. I'm reminded of them every day when I wake up.

I'm reminded every day when I sleep. I can't even escape my own fucking mind. I've been tormented and bullied by my brother and classmates. I've been ignored my whole life by my dad and sister. My mother was the only person who cared and actually showed it. Well look how that turned out she fucking six feet under will." I started to cry

"That guilt eats at me every day I wake up. I could have stopped her from getting on that damn plane but I didn't. My best friends lifted me after they used me for money. Every single time my life seems to be going on a positive path I fall. It happens over and over and over until I can't take the damn thing anymore but I push myself. I keep going because the day I fucking give in is the day everyone else wins. " I take a deep breath and continue

"I've fucking lost myself so many time due to trusting people. So pardon me for having trust issues and not telling you about my dark past as soon as I meet you. I suffer from ptsd, severe depression, insomnia, trust issues, multiple types of anxiety used to have eating disorders. What more do you want me to tell you will. I've also almost taken my own life or thought about it more than once in my life." I told the truth.

"I've hidden it for years from people because of the fear I will be judged. I became a fucking stream because I wanted to something I enjoy for once. I've done this all alone for years so I'll be damned if I need help now" Tears dripped from my eyes as I spilled my whole damn heart out on the line.

I've held it all in a jar in the back of my brain for years and it finally just shattered. The whole call went quiet. Now one knew what to say. "Sorry " I felt bad. "Don't be sorry I'm the one who should be sorry I shouldn't have pushed you '' Will frowned.

" It's okay things happen and that's life you just gotta get up and keep walking. '' I sighed and wiped the tears from my face. "Even in the worst of times you're still positive, " Tommy smiled. "Nice of you to notice" I let out a soft smile. " I tend to notice a lot" Tommy let out a soft calm laugh. " Hmm like what " I questioned him.

"Your smile get bigger when you nervous and you tend to squeeze you nails into your hand" He shrugged. "Very observant for a child" I made evey one laugh. "Why we're you staring at her smile to begin with" Drista wiggle her eye brows. "It called common sense to look at people while your talking to them" He exspained. "Hmm sus" We all laughed.