Reach For The Stars (Tommyinnit x Reader)

Chapter 66

Tw// lots for crying, mentions of death, felling, not feeling wanted, mention of cutting. There's a lot but this sums up the most of it.

not proof read.

Liam should be here in an hour. I've been cleaning for the past three hours non stop. I dressed nice so the social worker would think I'm fit enough to take care of him. As of right now I'm all he has.

I hear the doorbell rings and I run to go answer it. I checked the mirror to make sure I looked okay. I then opened the doors to have Liam ran inside and huged me. I hugged him back. Most of my roommates stop behind me.

"Look y/n I know who you are. I have no doubt in my mind you can take care of him.  You're stronger than you let yourself believe. I've got to go. I'm so sorry for your loss. " with that she walked down the driveway and I shut the door softly.  Liam held me with a death grip.

" Hey pumpkin, you're gonna live here with me and these other wonderful people." I crouched down to his level. " Is mommy going to join us?" my heart shattered. How do you do you tell a child his mother's sick and might not make it?

" mommy's peacefully sleeping right now and  I don't know how long she might be sleeping for but I can promise that she loves you with her whole heart " I lifted up his head to face mine. He nodded so innocently if only he knew what actually happened. 

" Do you want anything to eat or drink?" I asked the small boy. He shook his head no. " Are you sure. " He nodded his head yes.  I stayed. To ask him if he wanted to do something else but he had burst into tears. I picked him up and hugged him.

" What's wrong?" I asked him sadly. He pointed to the candle.  It all happened because of a fire. I went over and blew out the candle and he slowly stopped crying.  " it's gone bubs it can't hurt you" he nodded and got down. This definitely wasn't going to be easy. " Can I go play Minecraft on one of the computers? " I gave him a silly smile. Oh boy does he take after me.

" Mhm would you like to play with anyone specifically " he gave a look of thought and grabbed my hand and brought me to the picture of all the dream smp members. Of course he pointed to the dream team.

" them" he jumped up and down. I generally laughed. " alright. Let me give them a call" Phil walked into the room and tossed me my phone. " already did it mate go take over." I was shocked and so confused at the same time. "Piggy back ride"  he jumped on my back and I caught him.

"Onward" he screamed. I gave Phil a very appreciated smile. I opened the door and walked out. I ran with Liam to the dream team's house making train noises.  Dream already had the door unlocked so I just walked in.  He hopped down and they greeted me in the living room. 

 " Minecraft " Liam screamed running around the table. "Okay I'll show you the way they'll join us soon" George took him out of the room. "You know you don't have to act strong"  Dream reminded me. " I know I know" I looked down. " What's bothering you specifically right now," Sapnap said. 

I collapsed to the floor and burst into tears. Were to start. I have a child who I can't tell him that his mother may not live. The love of my life walked out on me when I needed him the most. Most importantly my sister who I had just finally had a good relationship with is dead. 

" I don't know what to say. I can't just tell the kid his mom might not come back. I can't break his heart like that. He was so young" sapnap sat next to me. I learned on his shoulder. " You're still young too. But you have a full life ahead of you. Just like he does. " he reminded me.

"  how are you truly feeling, be honest with us"  memories just continued to flood my mind. One thing stuck out the most. TOMMY.  " Why do I care that I've lost Tommy more than my own family. " I wiped my tears and dream joined us sitting on the floor.

"Because you can still lose him. He's your everything. No one said loving was easy.  He makes you beam brighter than the sun. He makes you happy and there's nothing you can do to change that. "  dream rubbed my back.

"It's okay, he hates me. I wouldn't forgive me either. I'm selfish. I should have just gone home with him. I should have listened. I should have made sure they got on that damn plane. " I couldn't contain the tears anymore. They flowed like rivers down my face.  Rivers are pretty but not these ones.

" You can't blame yourself for any of this. Sometimes things are just out of your hands". I nodded and stood up. " Liam is probably wondering where you guys are. Call me when he wants to come back to me. " they gave me a look of pity. Oh how much I hate pity. I walked out and back home.

It didn't feel like home anymore. The new troubles overweight the happy memories.  I walked through the door and closed it behind me. I looked in the mirror and I looked like a reck. How did I get myself here? I've slowly let myself go. Slipping into a hole no one can climb out of. An everlasting pit of death and loneliness. 

I just wanted to feel more loved  than alone for once. I don't know how long I stared into the mirror until someone hugged me from behind.  It was ranboo. He turned me around and I cried into his chest. He just rubbed my back and he didn't say anything. It's like he picks up on the little things.

That's his best quality. He reads you like and opens books and helps anyway he can. At this moment I just needed  to cry on a brother like figure in my life. Nothing happy ever lasts in this house. Tommy came from the living room and stopped in his tracks.  The noise made me pull away from Ranboo's hug. He scoffed at us.

" really a few days after I leave you you're already with my best mate" he flipped me off. " it's not like that" I whispered I was speechless.  " Thats not what it fucking looks like Y/n . Damn you can have him " he pointed at us. The whole house hears this." He's my friend Tommy. He's always been my friend" I tried to defend myself. Ranboo when to speak up. But was cut off. Ranboo was pissed.

" I DON'T WANNA HERE YOUR EXCUSES. YOU KNOW WHAT I NEVER LOVED YOU ANYHOW" words cut deeper than knives Tommy. Only if you knew what those words felt like. The whole house was left in shock and it became dead silent. I wiped my tears. I couldn't cry. My tears we're all dried up. There was nothing left in my heart. Nothing left to cry on.

" HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT. SHE'S LOST EVERYTHING IN THE SPAN OF A FEW DAYS.  EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE ANGRY WITH HER, HER HEART STILL GOES BACK TO YOU. SHE LOVES YOU AND YOU JUST BROKE THAT" I've never seen ranboo yell. 

" It's okay ranboo. It's not worth causing him pain. I don't know how I could be so silly and head over heels to realize. No one could ever love me. Why would anyone wanna stick around to stay to watch me cry myself to sleep" I stopped for a second then continued. I knew I had to let go. I wanted to hold him in my arms and cry but I had to let him go.
It'd it what he wants who am I to take it from him.

"I'm sorry if it was selfish to ask you to stay. Unlike you, if the role we're revered I would have stayed to the end. I'm sorry I wanted your time. I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm sorry for being selfish. " My head dropped down to look at the floor. I turned around  in defeat and began to walk away.

" Tommy fucking apologize " will yelled at him. " Will stop, I would rather him be honest than  lie to my face". I took off our matching necklace he got us. I held it out and chucked it to him. "Give it to someone better" he knew he fucked up.

He was just so angry with himself  he took it out on the one he loved the most. The truth was he felt guilty for everything she's going through and he only solidified that he was never getting her back.  Not now at least. They both went to their rooms and cried themselves to sleep.

One cut and the other beat themselves up over it.  Two very different coping mechanisms for the same pain. Pain no one could fix but themselves. No one else knew how to fix any of it. If they could even fix it. Sometimes things are better left broken to heal over time. Time heals all wounds right? At least they all hoped it did. 

A/n holly shit what a chapter. Very proud of my self for posting two chapters this week. Remember I'm proud of all of you. Daily reminder to eat and drink. I've been taught that the ups and down to a books what makes it Enjoyable to read.  I would have never guess that my book would ever get 211k reads on this when I started. I would just like to thank you all for reading, voting and commenting. You guys make my day just buy being here.  

Much love <3 Sunflowernotfound 🌻