Reach For The Stars (Tommyinnit x Reader)

Chapter 63

TW: mention of self harm, suicide, and eating disorders. This happens more toward the end. Also not Proof read.

Today's vid con. I can't wait, we all have our stands next to each other in the dreams section.  Tommy only right and Ranboo's on the left. Tubbo's next to Tommy and will next to ranboo.  This is gonna be such a weird day. All the boys are chatting as I'm busy thinking and texting my aunt. She went to visit my sister  and spoke with her.  They're gonna be staying there and leaving wednesday. I got them a flight that night for them.  

“y/n were here" will yell to get my attention. We all filled out of our bus and walked into the large white building. We then followed security to our booths that were already set up with boxes on boxes of merch that we had to sell.

"This is so cool" tubbo was amazed and had a huge grin on his face.  " it really is. " Tommy agreed. Ranboo was shocked and didn't know what to say. We all walked to our booth and sat down in our cool chairs.  We had to wear our new merch and our creator pass over it. I wore black skinny jeans under mine. 

" Y/n they open in like five what do we do then" Tommy asked. " Toms when they keep, I guess you should expect people to come up to you and just treat them like fans. Also ask if they want merch. " I explained. He came over and hugged me " I like it when you're smart" I could feel him smile. " Come sit with me at my stand. Until they open"  I didn't really have a choice, it seemed as if he had already taken my chair. "Okay" I sat next to him and rested my head on his shoulders.

" y/n were bored can you play and sign for us. " tubbo handed me my. Guitar. " sure but why is my guitar here?'' I asked and Taboo shrugged. I slowly started to play the song Home by Cavetown. 

*cover that y/n sound close to not a  face claim though :) *

 I smile and sing along with the boys.  We sang and let out small laughs here and there just having a good time. Until we look up and see and crowd of people smiling, recording and staring. Welp not what I wanted but here we are now. The crowd erupts with clapping. I over at the others. They just shrug. "HOW ARE YOU ALL?" Tommy shouted loudly. His persona is deftly needed. After that the crowds split up and I went to my stand next to ranboo.  That's when the little girl I met on the plane walked up. I smiled seeing her mom. I got up and went to hug her.

"Hello" I smile. " Hi thanks for the advice it worked great " she returned the hug. "I'm glad it helped". The Little Girl hugged my leg.  " well we just wanted to pop in and say hi . " they waved go bye before walking away. Fan after fan. I handed out merch. It was now time for the huge stage and questions. We all sat in out chairs on the stage as it filled with people. " that's a lot of people" tubbo gulped.

"Yeah " I nodded at his response. They the hooked us. Up the microphones. The producer made the crow go quite. " ALRIGHT one by one you all get to stand up and introduce yourself " and that what we did. 

That is when George flicked a dream. "Move over I need more room" dream gave George a confused look. " george shut up, there's no were to go, '' the crowd laughed.   They then settled down. " alright let's just hop into the questions" the host pointed to a girl with brown hair. The people handling the floor had a microphone so people could speak though. 

" Dream do you have a plan for a face reveal if so how you gonna do it. " she asked kindly.  Dream them responded with he will eventually and it's probably gonna be in the least expected way. " Tommy are you and Y/n dating" the question did shock me.

" No, why would I ever date her as my wives would get all jealous. I cant lose all of my wives" he replied. I gave a fake laugh. Did he just insult me or compliment me I can't tell.   The questions kept going and going. I was only asked a few basic ones like how I started streaming and my favorite colors.

"Okay only a few more questions. " the host spoke up. A blonde girl in the crowd jumped up and down begging to be called app on. "Yes you go ahead. '' she was given a mic. " y/n can I ask you a question? '' I gave a slight smile. " yeah go for it" I encourage the question oh god was that a mistake.

" Do you think you deserve to be where you are now? I mean like your parents are dead because of you. You also look like you eat like a pig. No one asked you any questions because you're depressed for attention. Like anyone can see it. No one else likes you so why are you still here?" I had no reaction. I stood up and walked closer to the crowd. The whole crew Especially dream and will we're  pissed.

" Uh, to answer your questions. No, I do not think I deserve to be the way I am now. Look at all of these talented people. Most of them can play instruments and sing. Some of them are the best and funniest people you will ever meet. They're all so good at what they do. Then there's me, the girl who got lucky that someone she had no clue about noticed her.  I'm the girl that everyone doesn't like." I took a quit pause.

"Yet I wake up everyday for my friends and my fans because that's just who I am. I wake up and give everything I have to someone else.  I am who I am and that's not gonna change. Just because I don't feel like I deserve to be like him doesn't mean I'm not proud of myself.  Hell I'm so very proud of everyone up on this stage and in the crowd because everyone has their own struggles they go through.  Even if you're a hater.  " With that I gave my mic to the producer and walked off the stage. All I could do was think. 

Was she right. Why and I am still here. I'm fat and ugly.  I walked to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I looked in the mirror and softly cried. " I don't deserve to be here" was all I could huff out. I've learned that waterproof make up was a must with how many times I cried over pathetic things.

I wanted to cut so bad but I. Didn't have anything sharp. I guess it works out right? Heard a knock on the door and decided to open it. It was will he was like the big brother I dreamed of having but instead I got stuck with the shitty one. He closed the door and pulled me into a hug. " Oh y/n I'm sorry they said that about you" his tone was sad. 

" don't be sorry, they were great. It was a great question" I corrected myself. "Hey look at me" I looked up at his tall ass. "You deserve everything you have right now you worked for it. I'm proud of you for coming this far" he smiles and wipes the tears flowing down my cheek.

" Sometimes I feel like I don't. Sometimes I wish I don't wake up. Sometimes I wish everyone could just like me. Sometimes I wish I could be what everyone wants me to be. I just wanna live my life and not walk around the corner and be hated by people. I can't anymore. I try and try but they still all hate me. I am overwhelmed by hate and the threats sometimes I can't help but think they are right. Sometimes I just wish everything would be okay" I cried in his arms. He held onto me for dear life. Like he was going to lose me even if he let go just a bit.

" I don't ever wanna hear you say that you give up. You're so strong. I wish I could be as strong as you but I'm not. Promise me, promise me you won't ever ever say you commit. We all love you so very much and you're not alone. " I nodded and he let go just a bit. We sat like that for a few minutes before he realized I was gonna be okay.  We fixed our faces and walked out like nothing ever happened, but knowing will I'm gonna be held under close watch. 

A/n long over due chapter I plan on. Getting more. Done this weekend so sorry for the delay I've been busy. Anyway remember to drink and eat. Your loved and valid.

- sunflowernodfound