Reach For The Stars (Tommyinnit x Reader)

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛𝟠

Tw/// Mentions of Death, mentions panic attack, mentions self harm, swearing of course. Mentions of self hatred. Kinda a sad chapter.

Y/n pov.

The smell of cinnamon wasn't the only thing I could smell once Will woke me up. He then held up a bag of maccas. " Wake up Tommy for me when I was at the campsite. " I nodded trying to wake up. My body aches but it wasn't that bad. We each have our own little tent and hug sleeping bags with tons of pillows. I boop Tommy on the nose a few times.

"Hiiii were at the camp site let go set up our tents" I spoke softly since my voice was raspy. "Yeah come on" We grab our bags and left the buss. The others sitting wait for us to get off the bus. We walk over and join them. " We have to build our tents before it gets dark so chop chop " Phill laughed.

I grabbed my two person tent we all have but with different colors. Mines a dark purply red. Niki's is purple, Phill and his wife's is a Dark blue, George's is light blue, Sapnap's is orange, Clay's is bright like green, Wills is brown, Tubbo's is yellow, Ranboo's is black and Tommy's is bright red. The bus drive got a Uber to a hotel. I grab the poles and slide them though the lining of the tent then clip them to it.

Ayy my tens almost done. I the tent spike and bang them into the ground to keep my tent still. I grab all of my things and take off my shoe on the outside and neatly set up the inside of my tent. I put on my slide I brought with me and walked outside to see how the others were doing. None of them were up yet except mine.

" Haha losers" I laughed and they all looked at me in shock. "How the fuck did you put up that damn tent to fast" Sapnap was annoyed. Well now Phill's tent was set up. "I'll come around and help you" I rolled my eyes and walked over to tommy's first. I taught him what to do and we got it done in no time.

" Sapnap you bitch you shove it in the whole not on the outside." George yelled. "That what she said. " Clay yelled putting up his tent. "Shut the fuck up clay I've fucked you mom and she enjoyed it" George yelled back. I decided to hope one the yelling train.

"I'll fuck all of your moms if you don't shut the fuck up" They all went quite. " Damn You got some attitude for a small weak child. " I gave him an evil smile as he walked up to him. I pulled down his head by his ear. "Wanna say that again snapchat" I could tell it hurt him.

" You know what I said" Before he could finish his sentence I grabbed his arm and held him in a arm lock. I then pushed him the ground still in a arm lol and put my foot on his back.

" Hmm for a weak child I just took down a full grown man who acts like a ten year old. Your lucky my back still hurts from getting chucked of that horse or I would have pushed you into a tree " I let go of the arm hold and he frowned.
" Your a bitch you know that" He snicker at his defeat.

" Get that a lot. Now put up your tent like a grown ass men'' I smiled going back to now help tubbo and rambo. I never take the chance to look at the campsite. Tall trees stood around leaves and pine needles from last fall spread across. Along it was a trail. I followed it no to have noticed I left.

I walked for a few minutes before I came to a clearing. It was a cliff. I was scared of heights but it was too beautiful to ignore. I walked up to the Edge and peered over. A huge lake poked out from all sides mirroring the sky above. It was peaceful and quiet. Until someone sat next to me.

"Pretty view isn't it" I asked Tommy.
" Not the only pretty view " He smiled looking at me. He looked down and leaned in closer. " Your right on the skyline of New York is a pretty view as well" I joked as we both laughed knowing exactly what he ment. He was still an inch from my face. The sound of walking made us look back. " Oh hey come eat. Oh sorry did I intrude " Tubbo asked

"No you didn't" Tommy smiled and got up. I swear this boy breaks my heart without even knowing it. "I'll join you in a second" They nodded and walked back to the campsite. A tear slipped from my eye.

" Just friends all we'll ever be nothing more nothing less" I mumbled low enough so not even a fish could hear the pain in my voice. I wiped my tears and walked back to the campsite.

If someone asks why I was crying I would simply just say the bruises caused by the horse. I sat by the fire next to everyone with a smile on my face. Acting like nothing happened. We all stay around joking like normal people and talking about random things.

(Sad bit :( don't worry it's also kinda wholesome)

Most of us have gone to bed. Well technical everyone but me. I grabbed a lantern and walked back to the lake. I look up at the stairs. I then began to cry. All night could think about was my mom and how she slowly drifted away.

" Why'd you leave me mum." I cried. I looked over and up at the stars. " You just left me no good bye. I want every day to say goodbye but I can't I missed my only chance. It's not fair, it's not fair, "I whispered, still crying.

" I just want to be loved by someone is that too much to ask" My words were mumbled. Everything was now quiet. Not even a peep. My sight crys was the only thing I could hear. Until some sat next to me. They pulled me into a hug. It was Nick.

" Don't you ever believe your not loved.
You are like a sister to all of us and we deeply care for you" I cried into his shoulder. "What happened tell me earlier" He rubbed me. Back.

"I was sitting here alone and Tommy joined me. We looked over the lake. I said it was pretty. He then looked at me and said not the only pretty view. He looked into my eyes when tubbo walked over. "I sniffled.

"Not that I really cared. But he asked if he intruded on something. Tommy said no you didn't. He said it coldly though and then left. I let myself fall head over heels for a silly boy who doesn't even feel the same"tears now freely flow led from my face.

" Loves not silly y/n it takes time. I know your scared. He's not just gonna get up and leave, but I do promise you if he really loves you he's not gonna leave. I'm sure he just as scared as you are" He voice was filled sadness.

" Nick he doesn't love me. Why would he love me? I'm broken and have too many problems" I sniffled. He let out a sigh. "Y/n you're selfless and kind. Your heart might have a few cracks in it but you have lost so much, but you don't let that stop you from caring for other people. Y/n you give so much to other people I'm scared you stopped caring for yourself. " He looked over at me.

" Y/n I'm not telling you to stop being you. I telling you to love yourself and to do things for yourself sometimes. I've seen the cuts and scars on your arm. I know some are new. Don't you dare let yourself go back down that road. Don't you dare let go of yourself. Everyone on this trip loves you. well not the bus driver that would be weird" We both let out a laugh.

" Thank you" I hugged him. " Always I'm tired so I'mma go back please go to sleep at some point and not out here with nothing to sleep with" He laughed getting up and leaving. I layed back and stared at the stars. I wiped the tears from my eyes. Damn what did u do to deserve these idiots. I

walk back to the campsite and grab my small guitar I bought. I also grabbed a sleeping bag. I went back the beach and started to write a song. It was a little chilly but nothing I couldn't manage. The stars still shining perfectly in the sky. It's was a truly breathtaking site to see. I flipped to a new page in my notebook and began to draw since I couldn't think of any more things to turn into a song.

I hate when I can't sleep. I also don't feel like talking my meds to sleep. It's been two days since I've take both of my meds any way. I've been out here for hours now and the Suns starting to rise. I walk back to the campsite and chill in my tent.

I didn't want them to worry about me so I pretended like I was in my tent all night except for when Nick talked to me. I play offline on my Minecraft world For few hours until almost everyone is awake. That when I walked out to join them.

A/n schools a bitch and you can't change my mind. Anyway thank you all for almost 20k reads It means the world to me. I wish you all the best ❤

:):