Perfectly Imperfect

78

KUNMI

For this year's Christmas and New year's eve, I was left with nothing but last year's memories. How Christmas had happened last year, the dinner at our neighbor's house and consequently, Adam and that firework festival at the park on new year's.

This year. I was just left with nothing but staring at my ceiling from dawn to dusk and the deep aching for things that never were.

The friendship, the love, the memories, the everything.

I don't even know if I was supposed to miss everyone and everything this much but I do. I missed everything a lot.

I missed the nights of shared smiles, laughter, memories... Everything.

Which made me even twice as horrible as I was already feeling. My brain wouldn't stop trying to think of what could have been going through their minds whenever they were talking to me.

Especially Adam and Sophia.

And my brain wouldn't stop coming up with anything.

They were two other people apart from Aminah who brought too much sunshine and love into my life. Maybe that was why I couldn't think of anything just like I'd have never been able to think of the reason why Aminah did that.

Even now, I still couldn't think of any reason why she did that but to think everything had been a lie? It made me shudder, made tears well up in my eyes everything I remembered the horrible things she wrote in the diary.

She was supposed to be my best friend, my closest confidant, my go-to person but she had been an enemy all this while.

I remembered how excited she was... She acted when I told her I liked Adam when she already knew I liked him even before I could come into terms with that fact and how she had tried to matchmake him with that Bola girl right in front of me while acting and pretending like she had no idea.

I wouldn't even be surprised if she knew about the pictures Bola was sending to Adam back then.

She had wanted me to join the choreography club when I first joined the school but I knew now that she must have been making up scenarios of me dancing in her mind and laughing at them. She only wanted me to come out and embarrass myself in front of the whole club.

And also how she had invited me out to hang out alone without Sophia. I remembered now how she had indirectly asked me why I was getting closer to Sophia, how she had feigned innocence, how she had batted her supposed puppy eyes at me and asked me if I was angry at her because I heard something about her. She had, I did not know at that time, knowingly guilty tripped me into feeling bad about spending more time with Sophia than her.

She did not even want me to have any other friend, a genuine friend when she was the fake one.

So you know that Sophia is a genuine friend...

No one has ever pried on my insecurities like that.

Only God knows why she was like that. Why she needed to sabotage my friendship with Sophia by always trying to indirectly make me see her as a wicked person, by always driving Sophia insane by doing things that the latter detested with absolute passion.